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2024年2月28日发(作者：)
601 The One After Vegas
601 The One After Vegas
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and
Monica are about to get married.]
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna
get married!
Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this?
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT
ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT
MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
(They storm out into the street.)
Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay!
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler
and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Monica: Whoa!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Come on Pheebs! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Hurry!
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! Okay! (They run into the chapel.)
(Chandler and Monica are stunned again.)
Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
(Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.)
Attendant: (scolding them) N-No running in the chapel!
Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Don’t you give me any of your—Hey! (Sees
Chandler and Monica standing there.)
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey!
Monica: What are you guys doing here?
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting
married! Isn’t that why you guys are here?
Chandler: Yes! Well that-yes.
Monica: Why else would we be here?
Joey: Well! What happened?! Did we miss it?
Chandler: We actually missed it.
Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldn’t have had you (turns to the
attendant) run in the chapel!
Monica: This is insane!
Phoebe: What’s the big deal, y’know? It’s not like it’s a real
marriage.
Chandler: What?!
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, you’re only married in
Vegas.
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas you’re
married everywhere.
Phoebe: (shocked) Really?!
601 离开拉斯维加斯
Okay! 就这么着! 我们要结婚了!
你确定你愿意吗?
Well.你好,Ross太太!
Well,你好,Rachel先生!
等等! Okay!
Whoa!
Oh my God!
快点Pheebs! 快! 快! 快! 快!
Okay! Okay! Okay!
Oh my God!! 所有人都要结婚吗?!!
不要在教堂里跑!
Hey! 别给我讲你们那些... Hey!
Hey!
你们来这干吗?
Ross和Rachel留了口信说，
他们要结婚!
你们不是为这事来吗?
是的! 那-是的.
还会有别的原因吗?
Well! 都发生什么了?! 我们错过了吗?
实际上我们也错过了.
Well, 如果能在教堂里跑的话就不会了!
这也太疯狂了!
没什么大不了的, y'know?
这也不算真正结婚.
什么?!
Yeah, 要是你在Vegas结婚,
你就只是在Vegas时算已婚.
你说什么呢?
要是你在Vegas结婚
你在哪都是已婚.
真的?!
当然!
Ohhh!
我们怎么会在一张床上?
不知道. 你-你身上有衣服吗?
有.
真的?!
没!
但我们没做爱, 是吗?
我是说, 昨晚的事我记不清了,
简直就是模糊一片.
Oh! 我记得笑! 我可笑的够多的.
我们也没做爱.
Monica: Yeah!
Phoebe: Oh my God!—Eh! Well„
Opening Credits
{Transciber’s note: In case you haven’t heard, Courteney Cox got
married to David Arquette during hiatus and changed her name to
Courteney Cox Arquette. But David was a busy boy during the off season
for not only did he marry but everyone else as well. For they’re all
listed as Jennifer Aniston Arquette, Lisa Kudrow Arquette, in an
interesting twist Matt LeBlanc Arquette, Matthew Perry Arquette,
David Schwimmer Arquette, and even the creators of the show are now
David Crane Arquette and Marta Kauffman Arquette. I just wonder what
the new sleeping arrangements are„}
[Scene: Rachel’s hotel room, she’s waking up with a horrendous
hangover.]
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks in the mirror and sees that she still has her
mustache and groans.)
(Suddenly, there’s movement beside her, startling her. It’s Ross!
He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both
grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Rachel: I don’t know. Do-do you have any clothes on?
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Rachel: Really?!
Ross: No! But we-we didn’t have„sex-uh, did we? I mean, I don’t
remember much about last night, it was such a blur.
Rachel: Oh! I remember laughing! I laughed a lot.
Ross: And we didn’t have sex.
(Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.)
Rachel: Ohh, I mean, we were really drunk. I’m just glad we didn’t
do anything stupid.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the
bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
[Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table
as Joey enters.]
Joey: Mornin’ Pheebs. (Sits down.) Well, my movie has officially been
canceled.
Phoebe: Oh Joey, I’m so sorry. You want some of my breakfast?
Joey: Nah, I’m too depressed to eat. I’ll probably eat in like 5
minutes. So I guess I’ll just fly home with you guys, what time’s
your flight?
Phoebe: What about my cab?
Joey: I don’t need that anymore.
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Joey: I don’t want to drive all the way back by myself, I get so
lonely. (Gets an idea.) Oh—ooh! How about you come with me?
Phoebe: I don’t know, it’s such a long trip.
Joey: It’ll be great! We-we could talk, and play games! Huh? This
could be our chance to like renew our friendship.
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Joey: Sure?
Phoebe: All right. Although I don’t think we need one, I never stopped
Ohh, 我们醉得可以.
但很庆幸我们没做什么蠢事.
那还用说.
早啊Pheebs.
Well, 我的电影正式取消了.
Oh Joey, 我很抱歉.
你要吃我的早餐吗?
不了, 我太沮丧了，吃不下去.
我大概得5分钟后才吃得下.
我想我能跟你们一起飞回去了,
你的航班是几点?
我的出租车怎么办?
我不需要了.
不行, Joey! 你借了我的车,
就得把它开回去.
我可不想自己开车回去,
会很孤单的.
Oh?ooh! 你跟我一起怎么样?
我不知道, 路可够远的.
会很棒的! 我们可以聊天, 玩游戏! Huh?
这可是咱俩更新友情的好机会.
你想让我来一次友谊复兴?
是的?
好吧. 尽管我不认为这有必要,
我一直都很爱你.
Hi!
Hey.
So, 谁跟Geller博士夫妇说过话了吗?
Um-hmm, yeah. 他们给我留了口信,他们应该来了.
招待呢?! 我饿死了!
这是自助餐 man.
Oh, 我就在这上把我的钱都找回来!
听着, 我得和你谈谈.
好! 怎么了?
Monica和我昨晚差点结婚了.
Oh my God! 这是大事!
等等, 我怎么没被邀请?
谁是你的伴郎? 别说, "Ross." 不要说,
"Ross."
Look, 我认为Monica还不到时候!
Y’know? 我是说，我爱她
但看见Ross和Rachel从教堂里出来，
就像, 就像个醒钟，告诉我Monica和
我进展得过快了. Y’know?
我怎么才能告诉她，还使她不受打击?
Oh! 告诉她，她不是结婚的料.
什么?!
姑娘们总这么说我! 相信我,
她要是像我的话, 她会觉得如释重负.
我怎么告诉Chandler这事太快了.
loving you. 他会伤心的,他会认为我不再爱他了.
(Chandler and Monica enter.) 你是不爱了.
Chandler: Hi! 我当然爱!
Joey: Hey. 很好! 我就是试试你.
Monica: Hey. Hi.
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet? Oh hi! Hi! Y’know, 我们在谈培根肉.
Phoebe: Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any 不, 我们在谈网球. 网球更可信.
minute. Hey!
Joey: Where is the waitress?! I’m starving! 怎么了?
Chandler: It’s a buffet man. 我们是不是得谈谈你们昨晚的事? 还是
Joey: Oh, here’s where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads 我不知道.
for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.) 昨晚是什么意思? 没什么, 没什么事uh,
Chandler: Listen, I gotta talk to you. 发生.
Joey: Sure! What’s up? (He grabs a plate and proceeds to load it with 对!
a huge pile of scrambled eggs. Chandler just stares at him and Joey Uh-huh! Ross邀请我们去看了.
reluctantly gives him a spoonful.) Rach! 我们才不会错过朋友的婚礼!
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night. 我们结婚了?!
Joey: Oh my God! That’s huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come 是的.
I wasn’t invited? And who was going to be your best man? Don’t say, 什么?! Hello! 我们没有.
"Ross." Do not say, "Ross." 不!我们没结婚! 真荒谬!
Chandler: Look, I just don’t think Monica and I are ready to get 我们?我记得在教堂里.
married yet! Y’know? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Oh my God.
Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up 我-他们不该让我们结婚
call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Y’know? And, how do I tell 我们都醉成那样了!
her without crushing her? 不!
Joey: Oh! Tell her she’s not marriage material. 就算你醉了他们也让你们结!
Chandler: What?! 大部分在Vegas结婚的人都喝醉了!
Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if she’s 见鬼, 我现在就醉了!
anything like me, she’s just gonna be relieved. 什么? 我早餐不能要杯'含羞草'（鸡尾[Pan to Monica and Phoebe having the same conversation.] 酒）?!
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that it’s too soon. It’s gonna break 我在渡假啊!
his heart, he’s not gonna think that I don’t love him anymore. 那你们怎么办?
Phoebe: Well you don’t. Well, 我想需要一个离婚律师了?
Monica: Yes I do! Well, 我想, 我想, Ross已经有了一个.
Phoebe: Good! Good! I was just testing you. 现在, 这个可以免费了, 对吗?
Chandler: (returning with Joey) Hi. 因为你为前两次付过钱了,
Monica: Oh hi! Hi! Y’know, we were just talking about bacon. 所以第三次该免费了.
Phoebe: No, we were talking about tennis. Tennis is more believable. 笑吧, 但要笑你自己.
(Ross and Rachel enter.) 因为我们不用离婚, okay?
Ross: Hey! 我们只需要把注册废除就行了.
The Girls: Hey! 切除? Ross! 我想手术可解决不了问题.
Chandler: Hey! Oh-oh,那是你的招牌.
(They both sit down and Rachel pours them both some coffee. They’re 什么?
acting like nothing’s happened and everyone is just staring at them.) 你的招牌. 你的招牌. Y'know?
Ross: What? 你就是个该离婚的人.
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or„ Oh 对!
Rachel: (To Ross) I don’t know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last 不-不是, 那才不是我的招牌!
night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night. 我不喜欢离婚!
Ross: Yeah! 你喜欢! 这是你第三次离婚!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch. 你太喜欢'离婚'了，你可能会跟它结婚!
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.) 然后又是失败的婚姻，你又会跟它离婚,
Monica: Rach! We weren’t gonna miss our friends getting married!
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this
as she is.)
Chandler: (not quite sure) You did.
Ross: What?! Hello! We didn’t get married.
Rachel: No, we didn’t get married! That’s ridiculous!
(They turn to look at each other and suddenly remember that they did
in fact get married.)
Ross: We-we-we—I remember being in a chapel.
Rachel: Oh my God.
Ross: I—They would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Rachel: No!
Joey: They let you get married when you’re drunk! Most people who
get married in Vegas are drunk!
Phoebe: Hell, I’m drunk right now! (They all turn and look at her.)
What? I can’t have a mimosa with breakfast?! I’m on vacation!
Monica: What are you guys gonna do?
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this
one’s free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third
one’s free.
Ross: Laugh it up, but the joke’s on you. Because we don’t need to
get divorced, okay? We we’re just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I don’t think surgery’s the answer here.
Phoebe: Oh-oh, that’s your thing.
Ross: What?
Phoebe: You’re thing. You’re thing. Y’know? You’re the guy who
gets divorced.
All: Oh yeah!
Ross: No-no, that’s-that’s not my thing! I do not love getting
divorced!
Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so
much you’re probably gonna marry it! Then it won’t work out and
you’re gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) I’m so
drunk.
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Monica: So, what do you think we should do?
Chandler: I don’t know. But I-I-I know I love you!
Monica: I know I love you! (They hug.)
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where
they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
Monica: That’s a good question. Look umm, last night we let the dice
decide. Maybe we should leave it up to fate again. I love you!
Chandler: Yes, we don’t get married unless there’s a sign! Okay,
so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table)
then there’s a definite sign that we should get married.
Monica: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10,
11, 12 we don’t get married.
Chandler: Sounds great.
Monica: Okay. (They approach the craps table.)
Croupler: Coming in, we got a shooter! Money please.
离婚狂.
我醉了.
So, 你认为我们该怎么办?
不知道.但我知道我爱你!
我知道我爱你!
那有关结婚的事我们进行到哪了？
我爱你.
问得好. 你看umm, 昨晚上我们让骰子决定.
也许今天我们还该既希望于命运. 我爱你!
对, 除非有征兆，要不我们不结婚!
Okay, 那么uh, 你要是再扔个8，
那就是个征兆，预示我们该结婚.
好, 8 就结婚,
但是 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12
我们不结.
听起来不错.
Okay.
来, 高手来扔了! 请交钱.
准备好了?
好了!
来吧 8 .
对, 8 .
8 ! 小 8 .
Wow! 真不能相信我扔了个 8 .
这太不可能了. Well, 我们结婚吧! 我想.
等等.
那不是大 8 (4/4)! 昨晚上我扔了个大
8 .
对呀! 不是那种 8 , 结不了婚! 该死的!
我多想结婚啊!
去收拾行李?
行.
我们做的很对, 对吗?
Ohh, 当然!
让命运决定.
如果该结婚
就该有个明确的征兆.
Okay, 你还有19个问题. 提些高明的.
拜托了Joey! 要想赢你就得问..
问题!!!
什么?!
Well, 你许诺了旅途会有意思!
我们开了 6 个点了
你却睡了5个半点!
下个休息站换你开车
你得开完剩下的路!
这是对你的惩罚, 你这个贪睡虫!
好吧. 好吧.
Monica: Ready?
Chandler: Ready!
Monica: (sarcastic) Come on eight.
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, yes eight.
(Monica rolls the dice.)
Croupler: Eight! Easy eight. (She rolls a 3 and a 5 and they’re
stunned.)
Monica: Wow! I can’t believe I actually rolled an eight.
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, let’s get married! I guess.
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasn’t a hard eight! Last night I rolled
a hard eight.
Chandler: That’s right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding!
Damnit!
Monica: I wanted it so bad! (Pause) Wanna go pack?
Chandler: Yeah. (They go pack.) We’re doing the right thing, right?
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We
left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed
to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door
opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica
standing side-by-side holding each other’s hands.)
[Scene: Phoebe’s cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is
driving while Joey is sleeping.]
Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey
groans.) Come on Joey! You can’t win if you don’t ask any (sees that
he’s asleep) QUESTIONS!!!
Joey: (wakes up) What?!
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! We’ve been on the road
six hours and you’ve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching
at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back!
That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Joey: All right. All right.
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the
radio’s broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Joey: Really? I don’t„
Phoebe: Sing!!
Joey: (starts singing)
I wanna rock and roll all night! (Falls
asleep.)
[Time lapse, Phoebe is asleep, Joey’s driving and having a hard time
staying awake.]
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No!
(He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next
to her and the car’s still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and
screams.]
Hitchhiker: (driving) Morning! (Phoebe screams again.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Rachel: Hey, hubby!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole
annulment thing?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Yeah! 还有到站之前你得唱歌给我听
因为收音机坏了，你虽自私却有副好嗓子.
真的吗? 我没有..
唱!!
我想狂舞一整夜!
'Man, 路可够长的! 我眼睛睁着呢吗?
没有!'
早!
Hey!
Hey, 老公!
实际上um, 我想跟你谈谈
关于废除注册的事?
Uh-huh.
我不要做.
Okay! 那, 我们就保持结婚状态.
对, 正确!
我还会让别人叫我Geller夫人!
Wow! 这真是奇妙.
我uh, 我还想可能得劝你一阵呢.
Okay,我现在害怕了，
因为我不认为你在说笑.
我没有开玩笑. 我, 我不能有三次失败的婚姻.
不能. Okay? 我不要做那种人!
什么，那我们就这么结婚到永远?!
Okay, 这能对你有什么影响? 说真的?
你就是偶尔填些表，看信箱时不再是
称呼女士而是夫人! 都差不多嘛!
Ohh, okay, 对不起. 你对. 你知道吗?
我们当然能保持已婚,
因为我没注意，我们的信箱分隔两地呢.
好吧, 请你, 用一点时间
想想你到底在求我干什么.
我在求你帮忙.
你在求我做你的妻子!
作为妻子，我想你该帮这个忙.
飞机上那小子踢得我不轻.
Well 你确实拽他头发了.
他拿了我的点心!
我不想再争论一次了!
Okay! Oh God, 你知道吗? 情况真的不好.
Well, 我说了你不要走路.
来，来. Okay.
这不代表什么, 对吗?
不代表!
Okay.
你怎么让人随便搭车?! 他可能是个强奸犯,
强奸犯或者杀人犯什么的!
Ross: I’m not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Commercial Break
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier. Rachel starts
laughing.]
Rachel: Okay! So, we’ll just stay married.
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Rachel: And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller!
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought I’d have to
talk you into this more.
Rachel: Okay, see now I’m scared because I don’t actually think
you’re kidding.
Ross: I’m-I’m not kidding. Look I-I, I can’t have three failed
marriages. I can’t. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Rachel: What-wh-what so we’ll just stay married forever?!
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you
fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box
that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! It’s right next to
it!
Rachel: Ohh, okay, I’m sorry. You’re right. Y’know what? We
absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that
the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please,
take a moment here and think about what you’re asking of me.
Ross: I’m asking you to do me a favor.
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your
hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to
you.}
Rachel: You are asking me to be your wife!
Ross: And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor.
[Scene: The hallway, Chandler is helping Monica to the door.]
Monica: That kid really kicked me hard on the plane.
Chandler: Well you did pull his hair.
Monica: He took my snack!
Chandler: I’m not getting into this again!
Monica: Okay! Oh God, y’know what? It’s really bad.
Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There.
Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops,
backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.)
Monica: This doesn’t mean anything, does it?
Chandler: No!
Monica: Okay.
[Scene: Phoebe’s cab, she’s driving, Joey’s in the back seat, and
the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be
a rape—(She holds her hand in front of the hitchhiker’s face), a
rapist or a killer or something!
Joey: Don’t you think I asked him that before he got in?!
Phoebe: Y’know what? I’m not talking to you! You go back to sleep!
(To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?!
Hitchhiker: No!
Phoebe: Do you like car games?
Hitchhiker: Yeah, y’know the license plate game?
你想我能不在他上车前问清楚吗?!
你知道? 我不要跟你说话! 你睡觉去吧!
你, 你是强奸犯吗?!
不是!
你喜欢汽车游戏吗?
喜欢, 你知道车牌游戏吗?
我爱车牌游戏!
Ooh, 我要玩! 我要玩!
不-不! 你需要睡觉. 晚安! Shh!
Hey!Hey!
听着, 我知道你想谈谈,
但我有个主意让你想结婚.
我们注册, 你得到所有礼物!
不! Ross, 拜托了! 不! 听着,
我想了很久怎样告诉你，归根结底,
Ross, 我们不能就这样结婚.
我不知道这是否正确.
Oh 但-这是正确的!
Oh, okay, 你知道这是什么?
这是另一种观点.
而当这发生在婚姻中...
Oh Ross, 得了! 这不是, 这不是婚姻!!
这是最糟糕的宿醉反应!
Ross, 如果你不去废除, 我会的!
好吧. 好吧, 我去.
谢谢. Hey-hey umm, uh, 你说,
有没有废除注册前的庆祝会?（有礼物收）
等等! 这就是那个火车站!
我就在这下. Well, 我有你的地址和电话.
我有你的名字，还有就是
你是个漂流者, 所以（约会）主动权在你手上.
好吧, 再会Pheebs.
拜托Pheebs! 我受不了了!
跟我说话吧! 让我弥补过失. Huh?
Ground control to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, engines on.
Take your protein pills and put your
helmet on!
打住! 打住! 这不公平!
你知道我不能抗拒这么美的嗓音!
Pheebs, 对不起!
我知道我许诺一个愉快的旅途
我却没履行.
但我现在知道了
你认为保持清醒对友谊很重要!
那我就力求一直清醒，只要我还认识你.
你还是能在晚上睡觉的.
Well, 谢谢. 那, 我们能玩20个问题了吗?
Phoebe: I love the license plate game!
Joey: Ooh, I’ll play! I’ll play!
Phoebe: No-No! You need your sleep. Night-night! Shh! (She closes the
partition.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Hey!
Rachel: Hey!
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that
may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We
register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen,
look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line,
Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross: I don’t know if it’s true.
Rachel: Oh b-b-but it is!
Ross: Oh, okay, y’know what this is? This is a difference of opinion.
And when that happens in
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This
is the world’s worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this
annulment, I will!
Ross: All right. All right, I’ll do it.
Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is
there any such thing as an annulment shower?
(Ross turns and leaves.)
[Scene: Phoebe’s cab, it’s the same arrangement as before.]
Hitchhiker: Wait! Wait! There is the train station!
Phoebe: Oh, okay.
Hitchhiker: This is where I get off. Well, I have your address and
phone number.
Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that you’re a drifter, so
the ball’s pretty much in your court.
Hitchhiker: All right, see ya Pheebs. (Gets out and Phoebe drives
away.)
Joey: Come on Pheebs! I can’t take this anymore! Let-let me make it
up to you. Huh? (Starts singing.) Ground control to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, engines on. Take your protein pills and put your
helmet on!
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it no! That’s not fair! Y’know I can’t resist
that beautiful voice!
Joey: Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip
with your friend and I didn’t deliver. But-but-but now I know that
you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so
I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you.
Phoebe: You can still sleep at night and stuff.
Joey: Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? I’ve got
a really good one! I’ve been thinking about it since Kansas.
Phoebe: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich?
Joey: Yes.
Phoebe: Is it a meatball sub?
Joey: That is incredible! You are the master!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel
我有个好问题!我从到堪萨斯时就开始想这个问题.
Okay. 是种热三文治吗?
对.
是‘肉团潜水艇三文治’?
难以置信! 你太棒了!
Huh, 有意思. 你们看起来像要成为..
不, 别说出来! 也不许想!
好吧. Okay Chandler, 享受你的这个麻烦鬼吧.
好吧, 我们是不是, 就结婚算了?
我们是不是应该就结了?
所有征兆都在告诉我们去结婚.
我受不了征兆了! 这太快了,
现在这样，我就挺幸福的!
我也是!
我不想改变! 你呢?
不想!
那好了, 什么都不变! 一切都很好!
就保持原状! 你去整理行李吧
因为皮箱都在那放三天了，我快被逼疯了!
Jeez, 放松点! 又不是让我们结...ah-ah!!
我在想, 要是我uh, 在这整理行李怎么样?
那你的东西就都在这边了.
Well, 要是我的东西都放在这呢?
那你就得来回跑了,我是说这根本没意义.
Okay. 我们住一起怎么样，你明白我在说什么吗?
一起住?
这可没什么征兆.
我问也算是征兆吧.
好!!!!!!!!Okay!!!!!
好的! Okay! Okay! 等等!
Okay.
这是给你的钥匙
Oh 谢谢.
给你钥匙. 好吧, 你得给它洗礼一下!
现在, 出去然后再进来!
这门可五年没锁了, 但没关系!
准备好了?!
是的!
Okay, 小问题. 钥匙折在孔里了，我进不去了!
等等! Oh my God! 我出不去了!
这可不是征兆!
不, 不是征兆! 这钥匙太旧了!
这钥匙太旧了!
is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws
the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some
already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Rachel: Huh, that’s funny. You look like you’re gonna be the„
Monica: No, don’t say it! Don’t even think it!
Rachel: All right. Okay Chandler, enjoy your handful. (Exits.)
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married?
Y’know? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us
to do it.
Monica: I’m sick of the signs! It’s too fast, I’m happy the way
things are!
Chandler: Me too!
Monica: I don’t want things to change! Do you?
Chandler: No!
Monica: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great!
Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because it’s been three
days and it’s driving me insane!
Chandler: Jeez, relax! It’s not like we’re mar-ah-ah!! (Runs out.)
Chandler: (entering, slowly) Y’know I was thinking, what if I uh,
unpack here?
Monica: Then all your stuff would be here.
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Monica: Then you’d be going back and forth all the time, I mean it
doesn’t make any sense.
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what I’m
saying?
Monica: Live together? There have been no signs for that.
Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign.
Monica: YES!!!!!!!!
Chandler: Okay!!!!!
(And the crowd goes wild! Well, at least the live studio audience.)
Monica: Yes! Okay! Okay! Wait-wait-wait!
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: Here’s your key (Gets him one.)
Chandler: Oh thanks.
Monica: Here’s your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now,
go out and come back in!
Chandler: The door hasn’t been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs
out.) Ready?!
Monica: Ready!
(He tries, but something happens.)
Chandler: Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I
can’t get in!
Monica: Wait! Oh my God! I can’t get out!
Chandler: This is not a sign!
Monica: No, it’s not a sign! It’s a very old key!
Chandler: It’s an old key!
Monica: Oh my God it’s old!
Chandler: I love you!
Monica: I love you!
Chandler: Are you hugging the door right now.
Oh my God 旧的!
I love you!
I love you!
你现在拥抱门呢吗.
没有.
Yeah-yeah, 我也没.
Hey!
Hey, 注册废除的顺利吗?
Oh,是, 没问题. 都处理好了.
Ross, 谢谢. Hey, 你们想去看电影吗?
Oh yeah, 干吗不?
Pheebs?
不谢谢, 我看过一场了.
Okay, umm, 我去拿件上衣.
Okay.
你uh, 你想听点奇怪的事吗?
一直都想.
我没废除注册.
什么?!
我们还是夫妻! 别告诉Rachel.回见.
献给真正新婚的 Courteney 和 David.
你干吗呢?
钥匙堵在锁里了.
我能修. 等会.
让地儿. 让地儿.
还是不行啊.
还没完事呢.
Oh.
干得好Joe! 你可真像个锁匠.
(Pause)
Monica: No.
Chandler: Yeah-yeah, me neither.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross
enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Rachel: Hey, so did everything go all right with the annulment?
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. It’s all taken care of.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Rachel: Pheebs?
Phoebe: No thanks, I’ve already seen one.
Rachel: Okay, umm, I’m gonna get my sweater. (Walks away.)
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear
something weird?
Phoebe: Always.
Ross: I didn’t get the annulment.
Phoebe: What?!
Ross: We’re still married! Don’t tell Rachel. See you later. (He
gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler
trying to open the lock.]
Joey: What are you doing?
Chandler: The key’s stuck in the lock.
Joey: I can fix it. Hold on. (He goes and gets a screwdriver from his
apartment) Look out. Look out. (Pries at the door a little bit.)
Chandler: (trying the handle) It still doesn’t work.
Joey: I’m not finished.
Chandler: Oh.
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws
his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off it’s hinges.)
Chandler: Nice job Joe! You’re quite the craftsmen.
(Joey pats him on the stomach and heads to bed.)
End
602 The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
602 The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
[Scene: Central Perk, it’s the same scene from the end of last week’s
show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Rachel: Hey, so did everything go okay with the annulment?
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. It’s all taken care of.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Rachel: Okay, umm, I’m gonna get my sweater. (Walks away.)
602 罗斯拥抱瑞秋
嘿!
嘿, 一切还顺利吗
那离婚的事?
哦, 是 , 没问题.
一切都摆平了.
罗斯, 太谢谢你了.
嘿, 想要看电影吗?
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear
something weird?
Phoebe: Always.
Ross: I didn’t get the annulment.
Phoebe: What?!
Ross: We’re still married! Don’t tell Rachel. See you later. (He
gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
[Cut to outside Central Perk.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Rachel: Oh? Yeah! Sure!
Phoebe: (running out) Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk
to you for just a second?
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, we’re gonna be late for the movie.
(A cab pulls up.)
Phoebe: Oh, there’s a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the
door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and
closes the door.)
Rachel: Yeah, we’re, we’re actually just gonna walk ‘cause it’s
right up there at the Angelica.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cab’s roof and
it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didn’t get the annulment?!!
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: Ross?!
Ross: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyer’s office all I could
hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just don’t want
my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
Phoebe: Don’t be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever
you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage!
Y’know? Mine’s gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I can’t have another failed marriage!
Phoebe: So okay what? You’re gonna be married to a girl who doesn’t
even know about it?!—Op, woman! Sorry.
Ross: Well, okay so, I don’t have it all worked out quite yet. Just
don’t say anything to Rachel, please?
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being
the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special.
Okay!
(Rachel’s cab backs up.)
Rachel: (to the driver) Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?!
Phoebe: Hey Rach!
Rachel: What was that?!
Phoebe: Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie?
Rachel: I haven’t seen it yet!
Phoebe: Well then you’d better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go! (Bangs
on the roof again and off they go.)
Rachel: Noooooooo!!
Opening Credits
{Transciber’s note: In case you’re wondering, and I know you are.
Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font
than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not
be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show„}
噢 好啊
好，那, 我去拿一下外衣.
好. 你, 你想听一些有趣的事吗?
当然，无论何时都想.
我没有去办离婚.
什么?!
我们还是夫妇!
不要告诉瑞秋. 过会见.
嘿, 有口香糖吗?
哦? 有啊!
等一等! 等一等!
听着, 罗斯 可以跟你
过一边聊聊吗?
噢 但菲比,
我们的电影快开场了.
噢 有车了!
出租车!!
时间刚好, 很巧哦 呵?
出发吧.
是, 但我们只是要走着去
电影院就在Angelica大街.
噢, Angelica大街!!
走! 快走!
你没有去办离婚?!!
我知道.
罗斯?!
我有打算去的!
但当我到了律师办公室的时候
我脑袋里就只能想到,
离婚三次. 离婚三次!
我不想我的墓碑上写着,
“罗斯.盖勒, 离婚三次.”
你不用担心这种事的!
你的墓碑上可以这么说，
“罗斯.盖勒,最擅长结婚!”
我的就会写着
“菲比.布菲,活埋在此.”
我只知道我不能再有一个失败的婚姻!
那? 你就要和一个不知内情
的女孩子做夫妇?!?
喔, 是女人! 对不起.
好好,我还没有完全想清楚.
先不要告诉瑞秋，好吗?
瑞秋是我最亲密的朋友之一.
虽然, 只有我一人知道这件事
的来龙去脉让我觉得很过瘾. 好吧!
好, 停下-停下!
菲比?!
嘿 瑞!
刚才你干嘛啊?!
对不起, 顺便.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the
couch.]
Chandler: Y’know when we move in together, can I get a gumball
machine?
Monica: Of course! Joey wouldn’t let you have one?
Chandler: No. When it comes to sweets, he’s surprisingly strict.
Monica: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him you’re moving
out?
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, y’know? I can get out, "Joey, I have
too„" but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, "„go to
the bathroom." He may think I’m sick.
Monica: Y’know, I really have to tell Rachel, but I„ We just have
to get it over with! Y’know, the next time we see them we’re just
gonna tell them. Okay? That’s it.
Chandler: Oh, so that’s this is gonna work now? You’re just gonna
order me around all the time?
Monica: Pretty much.
Chandler: All right.
Joey: (entering) Hey Monica!
Monica: Hi!
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler
answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that
no human can transcribe.)
Monica: Joey, we have something to tell you.
Joey: Oh my God! You’re pregnant!
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey,
here’s the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here.
So, I’m gonna be moving out man.
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh„ Hey! I’m really happy for you guys!
Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts
for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
Monica: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door,
pauses, and turns back.) Like you’d believe that. This sucks!
Chandler: Look, I-I’m just gonna be right across the hall and I
promise you, the minute Monica and I break up I’m moving right back
in with you!
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if you’re gonna be moving
in with him I feel it’s my responsibility to tell you the truth about
him! Okay? He’s a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to
umm„ Oh-oh he always, he always umm—Oh, who am I kidding! He’s the
best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Monica: Hey Pheebs!
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
Phoebe: No, why?
Monica: I have some pretty exciting news!
Phoebe: (gasps) You’re pregnant!
Monica: No! Chandler and I are moving in together!
Phoebe: Ooh! That’s good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what
嘿, 电影好看吗?
我还没去看!
那就要快点去了!
Angelica大街! 走啊! 走啊!
不要!!
我们同居后,
我可以买一台弹珠机吗?
当然! 以前乔伊不许你买吗?
不是. 他玩到兴起的时候,
动作就相当粗野了.
嘿, 你想到如何跟他说
你要搬出来的事了吗?
没有, 我在努力尝试着
我一说, "乔伊，我要" 便很紧张
然后就说, "去厕所."
他可能会以为我那里有问题了.
你看，我知道必须要告诉瑞秋.
但我 我们一定要克服这困难!
下一次我们遇到他们
就告诉他们吧. 好吗? 就这样决定.
噢，这么快就开始了吗?
你刚刚是在命令我吗?
是啊.
那好吧.
嘿 莫尼卡!
嗨!
嘿 兄弟, 你舒服点没有?
乔伊, 我们有些事要告诉你.
哦，天啊! 你怀孕了!
不是啊!
不是吧?
不是!
乔伊, 是这样的,
莫尼卡和我要一块住，就在这里.
所以, 我要搬家了.
喔! 那, 呃
嘿! 我很替你们高兴!
恭喜了!
一会见.
等等! 乔伊! 乔伊!
你没事吧?!
没事, 我要走啦!
我找到一份演戏的工作啊.
如果你相信的话.
太差劲了!
你看, 我-我只是
搬到走道的另一边去嘛.
而且我答应你, 如果
我和莫尼卡分手的话，
我会第一时间搬回你身边的!
好! 你看看, 好吗?
would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
(Ross returns from getting some coffee.)
Ross: Hey! Hi!
Monica: Hey!
Ross: What’s up?
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend„shaking
up. Oh, that’s great. That’s great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
Phoebe: Guys, I’m happy too.
Monica: Okay, come here! (Phoebe joins them in the hug.)
Phoebe: Wow! Big day huh? People moving in, people getting annulled„
(Winks at Ross.)
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could
you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesn’t
seem so bad? (Exits.)
Ross: Bye.
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel„ Bad news for Rachel, what
could that be?!
Ross: Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life
is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebody’s stairs!
Phoebe: Ross, it’s not that big a deal! So you’ll been divorced three
times, you’ll still have a life, you’ll go on dates„
Ross: (interrupting) No! No, I won’t! I’ll be at the bottom of the
dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four Divorce Guy
uh, Murderer Guy, and-and, Geologists.
Phoebe: Ross, you’re being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart
and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Ross: Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three
times?
Phoebe: Y’know that’s really fair. Y’know? Most guys who have been
divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except
you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, I’ll
show you! Come here.
Ross: What?! Why?
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful
women are sitting. Now, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that
their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the
credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so I’ll have to guess
who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, we’ll cross that bridge when
we come to it.)
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be
divorced for the third time, but wouldn’t you date him?
Ross: And if you wait right here, I’ll go get Ross. (Phoebe grabs
his arm and prevents him from escaping.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is pacing anxiously waiting for
Rachel.]
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Ugh, I thought you were Rachel!
Chandler: (looking down) What gave me away?
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and
Phoebe and she’s the only one left!
呃, 如果你真要和他一块住的话
我有责任告诉你他的底细!
他是个最差劲的室友呢!
差劲透顶!
他 , 忘记 呃 噢-噢他经常
他经常 呃?
噢, 我在说什么啊!
他是最棒的室友!
嘿 菲比!
嘿!
嘿, 你有见过瑞秋吗?
没有, 有事吗?
我有个让人兴奋的消息!
你怀孕啦!
没有!
钱德和我要搬到一块住了!
喔! 很好嘛! 哇!
但如果你现在怀孕了,
你会给孩子什么个名字?
提示: 菲比.
嘿! 嗨! 嘿!
发生什么事了吗?
是啊, 钱德和我要同居了.
噢 天啊.
噢, 我的小妹和我最好的朋友
搞到一块去.
噢, 很好啊. 很好啊.
喂，我也很高兴啊.
好啦, 过来!
哇! 大日子呢?
有人搬家,
有人离婚了
好了, 我要去找瑞秋了,
但是你们见到她的话
就给她一些坏消息吧.
那么我的消息看起来就不会太坏了.
唔, 告诉瑞秋一些坏消息吗
瑞秋的坏消息,
有什么坏消息呢?!
拜托 你能, 你能把这事忘记了吗?
好吗? 我的生活是一团糟!
我应该潦倒地住到楼梯底下!
罗斯, 不要把事情看得这么重!
即使你离婚三次,
你仍然能生活, 仍然能去约会
不！没机会了!
我会跌入单身一族的最底层的.
在我下面就只剩下
离婚四次的家伙,
杀人犯, 还有-还有,
地理学家.
Chandler: Okay, so that’s it, everybody knows! It’s official,
we’re moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Monica: No.
Chandler: Wow that was my scariest voice! You’re very brave.
(They hug as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hey!
Chandler: Hey.
Rachel: Ugh, the worse day! Y’know, you think you’re making progress
at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Chandler: Hey listen, for the first four years of my work everybody
called me Sha-la-lap. (Awkward silence ensues.) Seriously.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting
so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is
calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were
calling me Rocky!
Chandler: Well, I-I still think you’re very-very nice and very
pretty„
Rachel: What?
Chandler: (To Monica) All yours babe. (Walks away.)
Monica: Have a seat. (They sit at the table.) Okay, listen umm,
Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Rachel: Oh my God! That’s so great! I’m so happy for you guys!
Monica: Really?!
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of
us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica
to correct her.)
Rachel: And Chandler, you’re gonna have to watch those long showers
you take in the morning because you know Raquel can’t be late.
Chandler: Rach„
Monica: Yeah, he’s gonna work on that.
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God„ (Gasps and starts to sing)
Come and knock on my door„
Monica: (singing) We’ll be waiting for you„
{Transciber’s note: I’ll finish that one for those of you who don’t
know what they’re talking about.
Where the towels are Hers and Hers
and His, Three’s Company too! Yeah, that’s the theme song for
Three’s Company.}
Commercial Break
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is hosting an impromptu roundtable
discussion with Stephanie, Karin, and Meg about Ross’s three
divorces.]
Ross: „once you know the stories, it’s not that bad. First marriage,
wife’s hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the
wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they
really shouldn’t allow you to get married when you’re that drunk
and have writing all over your face, Nevada’s fault.
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you think ladies? Who wouldn’t be
interested? Who wouldn’t want to date him?
Stephanie: Well the divorces don’t bother me, I’d date him. But,
not while he’s still married.
罗斯, 你这想法太可笑了!
你可爱聪明又有情趣.
这比那什么
三次离婚要重要得多!
哦 是吗? 那你有没
有和离婚三次的人交往过?
那是无法做对比的.
会离婚三次的人大多都60岁了.
罗斯, 就只有你自己介意这种事!
这种尴尬事全在你头脑里!
过来, 我来证明给你看! 过来吧.
干嘛啊?!
嗨! 嗨!
听着, 我的朋友罗斯
将要离婚三次了.
那你还愿意和他约会吗?
如果你愿意在这里等一下,
我可以把罗斯叫来.
嘿!
噢, 我还以为你是瑞秋呢!
那我有问题吗?
我只想告诉她, 我一定要说出来.
我已经告诉罗斯和菲比
她是最后一个了!
好了, 现在, 所有人都知道了!
那正式地, 我们可以一块住了.
无法回头了.
你害怕吗?
不会.
哇 那是我最吓人的声音了!
你实在是很勇敢.
嘿!
呃, 今天真糟糕!
你看, 你以为你的工作表现很好.
而你的老板却叫你“瑞靠”.
告诉你, 我工作的头四年
人人都叫我“沙-啦-啦”.
是真的.
/我知道.
而且那时在开员工会议
所以没有人想去打断他.
于是 人人都叫我“瑞靠”!
放工的时候,
邮件室的人们都叫我洛奇!
没关系, 我-我还是觉得
你又好人又漂亮
什么?
看你了.
先坐下.
好了, 听着, 钱德和我想要同居,
就住在这里.
Phoebe: Okay, what about you? (Points to Karin) Wouldn’t you want
a date?
Karin: Actually, I’m dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that
I was only dating guys that were like y’know bad for me, so until
I work that out„
Phoebe: (interrupting) Whatever! What about you Meg?
Meg: Well, I don’t care about the divorces either, but I wouldn’t
date him. It’s just that he’s obviously still in love with this
Rachel girl.
Ross: What?!
Phoebe: (leaning to him) She said, "He’s obviously still in love with
this Rachel girl." (He glares at her.)
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I
have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will
you-will you help me out here?
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her.
Ross: We were drunk! I would’ve married uh, Joey with that amount
of alcohol!
Phoebe: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!!
Ross: (to the panel) Look, I’m sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just
don’t want to be divorced three times.
Phoebe: Yes, and now he’s using this three divorces reason because
he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, "Well
done!" Bravo Meg.
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think,
forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-I’ll go to my
lawyer’s office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?!
Because she means nothing to me! Noth—(leans down to Meg’s
ear)—Nothing!!
Meg: Okay now I wouldn’t date you because you seem a little creepy.
Karin: I am so attracted to him right now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating
about how to tell Rachel that Chandler’s moving in and she’s moving
out.]
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna
happen?
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldn’t before. You saw how upset Joey got!
I couldn’t do that to her, she’s my best friend!
Chandler: Well, Joey’s my best friend.
Monica: I’m not your best friend?
Chandler: You just said„ Of course you’re my best friend. Would you
please tell Rachel though?
Monica: All right, all right, at least I’m prepared.
Chandler: Okay. (She grabs a tin of freshly baked cookies) Oh yes.
(He reaches for one.)
Monica: (slapping his hand) Hey!
Chandler: Hey-hey!
Monica: These aren’t for you! Are you upset?
Chandler: I am now!
Rachel: (entering) Hey roomie!
Chandler: Okay, bye! (Exits.)
噢 天啊!
太好了!
我很替你们高兴!
真的吗?!
很感谢你先告诉我一声!
噢, 我们三个将要住到一块了!
是啊是啊.
钱德 你早上一定要等
上好一阵来让我洗澡.
因为你知道
“瑞靠”是不能迟到的.
瑞秋
是啦, 他会的.
噢! 太过瘾了!
哦 天啊
进去后还要锁上门
我们会等你的
当你知道来龙去脉,
我也不是这么差的.
第一次结婚, 老婆隐藏的
性取向,不是我的错吧.
第二次结婚, 在教堂里说错名字,
我是有一点错.
第三次结婚, 那个
当你喝得大醉还画得满脸花花绿绿
他们是不应该允许我们结婚的,
内华达州的失误.
好了,女士们
你们怎么认为呢?
谁有兴趣?
谁想和他去约会啊?
那些离婚的事没关系啊,
我要和他约会.
但, 他还没离婚就不行.
好 你呢?
你想和他约会吗?
实际上, 我不再和任何人约会了.
你看嘛, 和我约会过的
男生全都对我很差,
所以我不再
随便你!
你呢 Meg?
那个嘛, 我也不是在意他离婚的事,
但我是不会和他约会的.
因为很明显他还深爱着
那个叫瑞秋的女孩.
什么?!
她说, "很明显他还深爱着
那个叫瑞秋的女孩."
怎么可能!
我是说, 是-是 瑞秋是我的好朋友
Monica: Rach, there’s something uh, important I have to tell you.
Rachel: (gasps) Are you pregnant?!
Monica: No! But, I’m throwing this shirt away! I think there was a
little misunderstanding before.
Rachel: Um-hmm.
Monica: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm,
live together we meant alone together.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, that’s funny, I can’t believe I did
that.
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasn’t clear! I’m
really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move
out okay? There’s absolutely no rush.
Rachel: Okay. (Sits back and resumes her reading.)
Monica: Okay. Don’t you want a cookie?
Rachel: Sure? (Monica hands her one.) Thanks.
Monica: Maybe, do you need a tissue?
(Rachel mumbles uh-huh and spits the half-eaten cookie out onto the
tissue.)
Rachel: Monica, where did you get these?!
Monica: I made them!
Rachel: Ooh, good God, they’re so yummy! (She re-ingests the
previously expelled cookie matter from the tissue.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is packing some books and Joey
is watching him.]
Joey: God, it’s gonna so weird like when I come home and you’re not
here. Y’know? No more Joey and Chan’s. No more J and C’s. "You wanna
go over to Joey and Chandler’s?" "Can’t, its not there."
Chandler: Look, I’m just gonna be across the hall, we can still do
all the same stuff.
Joey: Yeah but we won’t be able to like get up in the middle of the
night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
Chandler: Not once did we do that.
Monica: (entering) Hi.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hi.
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well, how’d she take it?
Monica: Really well. Yeah. Surprisingly well. Yeah, she didn’t cry.
She wasn’t angry or sad. (Sits down, slightly disgusted.)
Chandler: And you’re upset because you didn’t make your best friend
cry?
Monica: I mean, all I’m asking for is just a little emotion! Is that
too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and
I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Don’t
I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes
out!
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! It’s like the end
of an era! No more J-man and Channie’s!!
Chandler: Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?!
[Scene: Ross’s lawyer’s office, his name is Russell and has just
been told by Ross about his current situation.]
我过去也真的很爱她.
但现在, 她只是我的老婆而已!
菲比, 你能帮我说明一下吗?
我想你和她结婚的
时候也还是喜欢她的.
我们当时喝醉了!
我不应该结婚的,
象乔伊也经常喝醉啊!
嘿! 你比 乔伊.崔比昂尼
要糟多了!!
对不起, 但你们想错了.
我只是不想离婚 三次之多.
是了, 他整天说着三次离婚
的借口 他想继续这段婚姻
因为他还爱她.
我一定要说, "做的好!"
太精辟了 Meg.
好! 没关系! 没关系!
如果你们真要这么想
把三次离婚的事情忘了吧!
我现在就去律师楼去搞
离婚的事! 行了吧?!
因为她对我一点意义都没有!
一点 一点都没有!!
好好 我现在肯定不会和你约会
因为你看来有点可怕.
我倒是有点被他吸引住了.
好了, 我们什么时候
才告诉瑞秋实情?
很快!
我真的说不出口.
你看刚才乔伊多么伤心啊!
我不能对她这样做的,
她是我最好的朋友!
乔伊也是我最好的朋友啊.
我不是你最好的朋友吗?
你刚也说
当然你是我最好的朋友啦.
但你能告诉瑞秋真相吗?
好啦, 好啦, 至少让我准备一下.
好.
没错.
嘿!
嘿-嘿
不是给你的! 你有伤心吗?
现在就很伤心了!
嘿 室友!
好了, 再见!
瑞秋, 有些.., 重要的事要告诉你.
你怀孕了吗?!
没有! 但，我要把这衣服丢掉了!
Russell: You got married again.
Ross: Yes.
Russell: So that’s your second marriage in two years.
Ross: Yes, second in two years. Third overall.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never
had I so much business from one client. Why don’t you tell me what
happened.
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk„
Russell: (interrupting) I’m sorry, is this the same Rachel who’s
name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Ross: Yes-yes-yes! But, I-I do not love her.
Russell: Oh, that’s better then.
Ross: This was just a drunken mistake and I need to get it annulled.
Russell: I see. Have you considered therapy?
Ross: I think just the annulment for today.
Russell: There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Ross: Easy.
Russell: And we’ll need to have witnesses who can testify that you
were not of uh, sound mind.
Ross: No problem.
Russell: And we’ll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Ross: Ooh! There’s no way to do this without her? ‘Cause I kinda
all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you can’t get an annulment
unless you and Rachel are both there.
Ross: Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? (Russell glares
at him.) I will think about the therapy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is painting her toe nails as
Monica enters.]
Rachel: Hey!
Monica: Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing
up our stuff.
Rachel: Okay!
Monica: Y’know, no point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long
process of you moving out and us not living together anymore.
Rachel: Okay.
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point
star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I don’t know if I want it because
it might be y’know, too many memories!
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Monica: I don’t know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.)
Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Wow! Mon, thanks! I love this plate!
Monica: Something to remember me by!
Rachel: Mon, honey you’re not dying. I’m just moving out. Y’know,
I mean we’re gonna see each other all the time.
Monica: But still, it’s a big change. The end of an era, you might
say!
Rachel: Are you okay? You’re not blinking.
Monica: I’m fine! I just, I’m thinking how much it’s an end of era.
Rachel: Oh, all right. But y’know I gotta say, I don’t, I don’t
我想之前有一点小误会.
呃, 刚我说, 钱德和我要
呃 住在一起,
意思是两人住一起.
噢 天啊! 噢,这很有趣.
真是让人无法相信
噢 不要这样, 不要!
都是我的错，我没说清楚!
真的很对不起.
听好, 随便你什么时候搬都没问题?
显然这事不很紧急的.
好吧.
好了.
你要饼干吗?
好啊 谢谢.
又或者, 你需要面纸吗?
莫尼卡, 你哪里买来的啊?!
我自己做的!
噢, 天啊, 太好吃了!
天啊, 以后我回家看不到你.
会让我很不习惯的.
不再有乔伊和钱德.
不再有J和C（名字缩写）.
你想去乔伊和钱德那里?
不可能，已经不在了.
你看,我只是搬到走道对面去,
我们还是可以经常卯在一起啊.
是，但已经不可能半夜里起床
然后畅谈我们对未来的期望了.
我们没有做过这种事.
嗨.
嘿!
我已经告诉瑞秋只有我们俩同住了.
哦 是吗? 她有什么反应?
很好. 没错.
出奇的好.
她没有哭. 也不愤怒或感伤.
她没哭你感到不高兴?
我觉得, 对这种事
应该有点感觉的吧!
同住六年是否还是不够长?!
难-难道我和瑞秋
还没有你们感情好?!
难道我们过得不够愉快?!
是否真的不值得为我流点泪?!!
我们告诉乔伊时,
他哭得眼睛都要掉下来了!
嘿!
我没有哭得那么厉害!!
没什么嘛! 这只是一个时代的终结!
只是不再有阿J和小钱!!
think six years counts as an era.
Monica: An era is defined as a significant period of time. Now, it
was significant to me, maybe it wasn’t significant to you!
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why aren’t you more upset?!
Aren’t you gonna be sad that we’re not gonna be living together
anymore?! I mean aren’t you gonna miss me at all?!
Rachel: All right, fine, but don’t get mad at me. It’s-it’s just
a little hard to believe.
Monica: What’s hard to believe?
Rachel: Well y’know, it’s you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff!
Y’know? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you
backed out! I guess I’m not upset because I don’t see you guys going
through with it. I’m sorry.
Monica: Rachel, it’s going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
Rachel: But I„
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isn’t something
that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is
something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Rachel: It is? Really?
Monica: Yeah, sweetie.
Rachel: (starting to lose her composure) I mean we’re not, we’re
not gonna live together anymore?
Monica: No.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I’m gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Monica: I’m gonna miss you! (They hug.)
Rachel: I mean it’s the end of an era!
Monica: I know!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves
Joey and Chandler’s.]
Phoebe: (to Joey and Chandler) Okay, bye!
Ross: Oh no.
Phoebe: So? Did you get the annulment?
Ross: I couldn’t.
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Ross: It’s not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I„
Phoebe: Yeah, complicated ‘cause of the love.
Ross: I„ I do, I do not love Rachel. I’m gonna tell her right now
about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast
as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Phoebe: I’ve never been more convinced of your love for her.
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! (He goes into her
apartment.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachel’s as Ross walks through the door. Rachel
is holding the chrome star and crying.]
Ross: Ohh, what’s wrong?!
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to
move out and everything is changing.
Ross: Oh my—Come here! Come here! (He hugs her.) It’s okay.
Everything’s gonna be okay.
Rachel: Thank you.
这个, 我想问一下,
谁会这样称呼我们?!
你又结婚了.
没错.
这是你两年之内
的第二次结婚了哦.
是的，两年两次，一共三次.
罗斯, 我办理离婚案23年了..
从没有从单单一个委托人
身上赚过这么多钱.
不如你告诉我发生什么事了.
基本上, 是瑞秋和我
在维加斯喝醉了酒
等一下, 这个瑞秋是不是你
第二次结婚时在礼堂里说的那个啊?
是-是-是!
但是, 我对她没有感觉的.
噢, 那会比较好一点.
这都是醉酒误事 所以我要离婚.
我明白了. 有考虑过接受辅导吗?
我想今天只能办离婚而已.
你要填写两张表格.
简单事.
还有我们要有证人证明
你们没有感情了.
没问题.
还有 你和瑞秋要在法官面前作证.
噢! 不叫上她就没办法吗?
因为我已经告诉她 呃
我已经离婚了.
的确如此啊.
我告诉你 罗斯,
撇开瑞秋办离婚是没可能的.
呃-哈, 那我叫一个
很象瑞秋的人来又如何?
我会考虑一下接受辅导的事.
嘿!
那个, 我想我们要开始
区分一下彼此的东西了.
好啊!
你要知道 没办法能拖下去了.
没办法拖延着你要搬走
而我们不再同住的事实了.
好啊.
嘿 瑞秋, 你看这个?
呵? 这个归谁?
我不知道我应不应要了它 因为
它对我们来说有太多的回忆了!
这什么鬼东西啊?
我不知道.
嘿, 瑞秋, 你想要这大盘子吗?
Ross: Of course.
(Ross suddenly realizes something.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got
married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Phoebe: Oh we do, but not just yet.
Joey: Really?! Well, when?
Phoebe: Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married
and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it won’t work out.
Joey: Wow.
Phoebe: I know. Then, I’m gonna marry Chandler for the money and
you’ll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Joey: Great!
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and that’s when we get married.
We’ll have Chandler’s money and Rachel’s kids and getting custody
will be easy because of Rachel’s drinking problem.
Joey: Oh-oh, what about Ross?
Phoebe: I don’t want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have
words and I kill him.
End
我想你收下这大盘子.
喔! 莫, 谢谢! 我很喜欢这盘子!
看到它要想起我哦!
莫, 宝贝 你又不是快要死.
我只是搬出去住而已.
你要知道我们还是可以经常见面啊.
但当然, 这还是一个很大的改变.
一个时代的终结, 你应该这样说!
你没事吧? 你眼都不眨一下.
我没事! 我只是, 我只是在想
一个时代的终结是多么重要啊.
噢, 没错.
但我觉得, 六年不足以称为一个时代吧.
时代的定义是一段明显很长时间.
六年对我来说明显够长了,
只是 可能对你来说不够吧!
你有什么问题啊?!
是你有什么问题啊?!!
你一点都不伤心吗?!
我们不再一块住你一点都不伤心吗?!
你就一点都不会惦记着我吗?!
好吧, 好吧, 但你不要发怒.
只-只是有点难以置信.
有什么难以置信的?
你想想,你们.你们这样做!
我想说 你们打算在维加斯结婚
然后又反悔!
我想是因为我不相信你们
真要一起住 所以才不太伤心.
对不起.
瑞秋.
这是真的. 钱德真的要搬进来住.
但 我/
不, 等等!
先让我讲完 好吗?
这些不是我们在维加斯
一时冲动决定的.
我们是认真的.
事情真的要发生的.
是这样的吗?
真的?
是啊, 亲爱的.
你是说, 我们不能再一块住了?
没错.
什么? 噢 天啊!
我会很惦挂你的!
我也会惦着你的!
我想说这是一个时代的终结啊!
我知道!
好了,再见了!
噢 不要.
怎样? 离婚的事搞定了吗?
我不能.
我就知道! 因为你还爱着瑞秋.
不是这样的. 好吗?
离婚手续很复杂所以
对啊, 以为爱情所以变的复杂.
我 我真的, 我真的不喜欢瑞秋.
我现在就进去告诉她一切
然后和她尽快离婚. 行了吗?
我爱她的话 我怎么能这样做?
我终于确认你爱她了.
我对瑞秋没有感觉! 明白吗?!
噢, 怎么了?!
莫尼卡和瑞秋真的要一块住了.
我真要搬出去,一切都完了.
噢? 过来! 过来!
没问题的. 一切都会解决的.
谢谢你.
我应该的.
那么说,罗斯和瑞秋真的结婚了,
莫尼卡和钱德又快要结婚了,
我们是否也应该搞到一块呢?
噢 我们会的, 但不是现在.
真的?! 那, 什么时候?
好吧 呃, 首先钱德和莫尼卡
将要结婚然后 顺便成为暴发户.
然后就玩完了.
哇.
我知道.
然后, 我为了钱和钱德结婚
然后你和瑞秋结婚
还生了个可爱的孩子.
正点!
然后我们开始鬼混起来
那时我们才结婚.
我们会拥有钱德的钱和瑞秋的孩子.
而且抚养权很容易就被我们搞到
因为瑞秋嗜酒成性.
噢-噢, 那罗斯又怎样呢?
我本来不想说出来,但是,呃
我和他发生争执然后我把他杀掉.
603 The One With Ross’s Denial
603 The One With Ross’s Denial
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as
Chandler enters.]
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
603 罗斯死不认帐
嘿!
嘿! 快看啊!
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding 真难以置信!
his breath for almost four minutes! 乔伊已经憋气憋了差不多四分钟！
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly 哥们! 你干什么? 想弄死我吗?!
reaches down and pinches Joey’s nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey 菲比，我有点事想问你。
has to move because he’s now forced to actually hold his breath.) 呃呵，什么事?
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yo—you trying to kill me?! 你看，我就要搬出去了。
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something. 而且你是这么好的一个人，
Phoebe: Uh-huh, what? 那我搬去和你住怎么样?
Rachel: Well since I’m movin’ out and-and you’re so beautiful„ 这主意不错，
Phoebe: Oh! 不过那样的话迪妮丝怎么办?
Rachel: „how about I move in with you? 迪妮丝是谁?
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise? 我的室友。
Monica: Who’s Denise? 你有室友?!
Phoebe: My roommate. 对，迪妮丝。迪妮丝!
Rachel: You have a roommate?! 嘿，有什么不可告人的事吗？菲比?
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise! 迪妮丝是个怎样的人，她可爱吗?
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this 菲比，我不明白。
Denise, is she cute? 怎么可能你有一个室友
Chandler: Pheebs, I don’t understand. How can you have a roommate 而我们所有人都不知道呢?
that none of us know anything about? 可能是因为你们从来
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk 都不用心听我说的话。
about her all the time! DENISE!!!!! 我整天都提到她! 迪妮丝!!!!!
Joey: Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin’ uh, I’m gonna have an extra 嘿，瑞秋，我在想，呃，
room over at my place„ 我那里很快会有一个空房间，
Rachel: Oh, that’s true. 哦，没错。
Joey: Yeah, why don’t you move in with me? It’ll be great! We could 是啊，你不如搬过来和我住？
stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursday’s 那样多好啊! 我们可以熬夜，
right? 聊天，看电影。
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I think I’m gonna find my own place. 而且你知道“裸体的星期四”吧?
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursday’s was just our thing man! 对，对，我还是自己找地方吧。
Opening Credits 喂，喂!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, 我觉得“裸体的星期四”
and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.] 是咱们的私事。
Phoebe: Hey. 你告诉瑞秋你们还没
Ross: Hey! 离婚的时候她怎么说？
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still 哦，那个啊。
married to her? 她挺高兴的。
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well. 你没告诉她,对不对?
Phoebe: You didn’t tell her did you? 没有。
Ross: No. 当然没有啦，因为你还是爱她的。
Phoebe: Of course not, because you’re in love with her. 我已经不爱她了。
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to 她因为必须要搬出去，心情很不好。
move out so I eh, didn’t tell her we were still married because she 所以我没有告诉她我们还没离婚，
would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend. 因为那样只会让她更难过。
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her? 我只是安慰了她一下，
Ross: It’s nothing, I just gave her a hug. 以朋友的身份。
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug! 安慰她？什么意思？
Ross: It’s also a sign of friendship. 没什么，拥抱了她一下。
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite 啊哈! 一种经典的爱的表示，拥抱!
out of Ross’s cookie.) 可那也是友谊的表示。
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug! 但你是不会这么想的，
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
Ross: S-s-smell her hair? What if I did?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a women’s pheromones come out the top of
her head! That’s why, that’s why women are shorter. So that men will
fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.)
Oh come on Ross, you’re a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. It’s not my fault her-her hair
got in my face, she’s got a lot of it and it smells all-all
uh„coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesn’t
mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for
coconuts!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be
careful, all right? Rachel’s not in the same place you are.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too
is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am
not in that place!
Phoebe: Okay, I didn’t understand that, but y’know, maybe that’s
‘cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches
it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs
his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some
of the coffee.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey
enters.]
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Chandler: Who was it?
Joey: I don’t know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez!
(Exits.)
Monica: Okay listen, y’know when you move in Rachel’s room is gonna
be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Chandler: Sure!
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room,
right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on
them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards
on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay,
whatever, I really haven’t thought about it that much.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking
maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, y’know? I mean you can
buy old arcade games like uh, like
Space Invaders and
Asteroids for
$200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica: No.
Chandler: Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting
idea. Let’s discuss it before we reject it completely."
Monica: Oh, I’m sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm,
talk about it, but no.
Chandler: So, that’s it?
Monica: I just don’t think arcade games go in the beautiful guest
room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler: Which is why
Asteroids is perfect! It’s the oldest game!
Monica: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
Chandler: I don’t have anything against the beautiful guest room,
纯情小男生。
只是一个拥抱!
那好，告诉我，
你有没有闻她的头发？
闻„„闻她的头发?
有又怎么样?
女性有90%的信息素
是从头顶上散发出来的！
这就是女人比较矮的原因。
这样当男人拥抱她们的时候
就会爱上她们。
拜托，罗斯，你可是科学家。
我只是像朋友一样拥抱她。
是她的头发碰到我的脸，
又不是我的错。
她有那么多头发。
而且闻上去就像„„就像椰子。
这并不意味着我对瑞秋还有感觉!
可能这表示我对椰子有感觉!
好吧，你怎么说都好。
不过你还是小心些吧，
瑞秋和你的情况不同。
如果你所说的“情况”是指处于恋爱中，
那么她和我的情况是相同的，
因为我并不是那种情况！
我听不懂你说什么。
不过我想可能是因为
你说的是爱的秘语。
嘿!
哥们。
刚才有个人打电话给你。
谁?
我不知道!
可能叫做"麻烦你告诉他一声"。见鬼!
你看，你搬进来之后瑞秋的房间就空了。
想不想讨论一下我们要怎样布置它？
当然!
好。
我想我们需要一间漂亮的客房，
里面有桃花心木的豪华大床
和整天摆着鲜花的边桌！
我们还可以买一张写字台，
上面放些住客意见卡。
这样客人就可以告诉我们
他们是多么希望能留在这里！
好吧，没所谓，
其实我还没想到那么远。
嗯，我喜欢这个主意。明显地!
不过我想我们也许„„也许
可以把它变成一间游戏机房，
像“太空小蜜蜂”和“小行星”这样的
especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away!
Monica: Are you mocking me?
Chandler: No, I’m not mocking you, (in a mocking voice) or you
beautiful guest room. (Exits.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Joey: Hey, what’s up?
Chandler: Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight.
Joey: But you’re still moving in together, right? Because my ad came
out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker,
non-ugly." Nice!
Joey: Yeah? I just figured y’know, after living with you it’d be
an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, y’know?
Someone I can learn from, someone-someone who’s different than me.
And what’s more different than me; a guy who’s not 19 than say a
girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my
friend!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space
as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Pheebs, I have to ask you„
Phoebe: Shhhhhh! I’m swamped right now.
Rachel: You’re just staring into space.
Phoebe: Umm, I’m trying to move that pencil. (There’s a pencil lying
on the table.)
Rachel: This one? (Picks it up.)
Phoebe: It worked!
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every
place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look
at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female
roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." It’s just, there is nothing! The
city’s full!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two
bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay„" Oh,
yeah, but it’s on the ground floor.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey.
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Rachel: Yeah! Why?
Ross: Okay, there’s this guy, Warren, from the museum and he’s going
on a dig for like two years and he’s got this great place he needs
to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Rachel: That sounds great! I’d love to live at Warren’s!! I love
Warren! Thank you!
Ross: Don’t thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano
that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving
an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Here’s Warren’s
number.
Rachel: Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! (Jumps up.)
Oh, thank you!
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe
is giving him and pushes her away.)
老的街机，只有200块钱就能买到。
是真正的街机! 那些大的，大的!
不行。
你说“不行”的时候是不是可以说
“天哪钱德，多么有趣的想法。”
“让我们先讨论一下，
然后再全盘否定它。”
哦，真抱歉。当然我就是那个意思。
很有趣的想法，可以讨论，
但是不行。
决定了?
我只是觉得街机不应该
出现在美丽的客房里。
美丽的客房应该是摆满古董的。
那摆“小行星”最好不过了!
它是最古老的街机!
你为什么不想要一间漂亮的客房？
不不，我并不是
不想要一间漂亮的客房。
特别是我们认识的人
都住在30秒内能到的地方！
你在嘲笑我吗?
没有，我没有嘲笑你，
还有你漂亮的客房。
嘿，怎么了?
没什么，莫妮卡和我有些愚蠢的争吵。
但你们还是要一起住的，对吧？
因为我的广告今天登出来了。
通缉。女性室友，不吸烟，不丑陋。
很好!
是吧?
我只是觉得跟你住了这么久，
如果能有个女性室友
会是个很有趣的改变。不是吗？
一个我能向她学习的人，
一个和我不一样的人。
哪一个和我更不一样呢？
一个不是19岁的男人当然不如
一个19岁的女孩，对不对？
我的脑袋可不只是个帽架!
菲比，我一定要问问你
嘘！我现在很忙。
你只是盯着空气。
我想试着移动铅笔。
这支吗?
成功了!
菲比，找房子真像一场噩梦!
每一个我住得起的地方
都有一个怪胎室友。
瞧这个：
通缉。女性室友，不吸烟，不丑陋。
Ross: Okay, you go grab it!
Phoebe: I saw it.
Ross: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Phoebe: Umm, I’m talking about that which you already know but won’t
admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Ross: Look, I do not re-love her.
Phoebe: I can’t believe you won’t just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just
promise me that you won’t do anything stupid.
Ross: Look, we’re just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything
stupid?
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment
is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. I’m never gonna
find anything.
Ross: You can live with me.
Rachel: What?!
Phoebe: What?!
Ross: What?
Commercial Break
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.]
Rachel: Oh my God! Are you serious?!
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; that’s-that’s great!
Thank you!
Ross: Well, I’m-I’m just glad I could, y’know, help you out.
Phoebe: Wow! I’m-I’m so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so,
not stupid.
Rachel: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean,
I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! You’re my hero!
Ross: Hero, I uh, I don’t know—well, all right.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has!
(Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) You’re gonna say things
now, aren’t ya?
Phoebe: No. No, I won’t. But I should tell you this, this exact same
thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was
secretly married to her and he said he didn’t love her, but he really
did, and it just blew up! And that’s how she ended up living with
me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, that’s a lie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler
enters.]
Chandler: Hi.
Monica: Hi.
Chandler: Hi, listen, I’m sorry about before. I don’t need to have
a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because
I couldn’t get girls, and now I can ‘em—Now, I have you. (Monica
glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you
as property in any sort of way, I see women„
Monica: Stop it Chandler. (Chandler is relieved) I’m sorry too.
Chandler: Really?
Monica: Yeah! Oh yes!
Chandler: Ohh.
简直没的选择！
这个城市已经挤满了！
等等，看看这个！
“两间卧室，两间浴室，
要求不吸烟，撒旦崇拜者亦可”
可惜„„
是在地下。
嘿!
嘿。
瑞秋，你还在找房子吗？
是啊。
我们博物馆有个叫沃伦的，
他要出去做两年的挖掘工作。
他的房子很不错，现在想转租，
你有兴趣吗？
太好了!
我愿意住沃伦的房子！我爱沃伦！
谢谢你!
别谢我!
要谢就谢那次几千年前的火山喷发吧，
毁灭了同时也极好地保存了
一个完整的文明遗迹。
这是沃伦的电话。
哦，太好了！我现在就打给他！
哦，谢谢你!
好了，快去吧!
我都看见了。
不知道你说什么。
我在说些你心里明白
却不肯承认的事。
你又爱上她了，你旧情复燃！
我没有旧情复燃！
真不敢相信，你就是不肯承认！
好吧，答应我
不要做出任何愚蠢的事。
我们现在只是朋友！
我为什么会做出愚蠢的事？
哦!!! 他那间已经转租掉了！
没希望了！
我永远找不到房子了。
你可以和我一起住。
什么?
哦上帝！你说真的？！
嗯哼。
我很乐意跟你一起住，罗斯，
那样太好了！谢谢你！
我也挺高兴，因为能帮到你。
Wow! 我真为你们高兴。
这真是太~~~~不愚蠢了。
罗斯，你不知道
这对我来说意义有多大！
Monica: Listen, we don’t have to make that a guest room, we can think
of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: That’s a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us
both to enjoy the room.
Monica: Totally!
(They start thinking.)
Chandler: We don’t have to come up with this now.
Monica: Oh good.
Chandler: Hey, y’know what? Why don’t we think about changes we can
make in the living room?
Monica: Changes?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean we’re gonna have to move around some furniture
to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Monica: You’re-you’re-you’re gonna bring the Barca Lounger over
here?
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Monica: Well, it’s a set and they should probably stay together.
Chandler: Oh, that’s cool. Then I’ll just bring them both over.
Monica: See now-now you’re taking them away from their home.
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine!
Everything here is yours! I’ll get up in the morning put on your
clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: Yeah-yeah, y’know what? Yeah, that’s it-that’s it,
everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! That’s-that’s what
I said! Oh come on, Chandler! I’m talking about the barca lounger!
It just, it doesn’t match! Where is it gonna go?!
Chandler: In the game room!
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Chandler: All right! That’s fine! That’s fine! I won’t bring over
the chairs! I won’t bring anything over! I wouldn’t want to ruin
the ambiance over here at Grandma’s place!! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential
roommate. And yes, she’s a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
Joey: (exiting from Chandler’s room with the new roommate)
Everything on your application looks really good—Ohh! Just one last
question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time
like partying and hanging out?
The Potential Roommate: Oh don’t worry, I’m not really a party girl.
Joey: Whoa!! Now look, don’t be just blurtin’ stuff out. I want you
to really think about your answers. Okay?
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the
potential roommate) Hi! I’ll be living here. (Heads for the
bathroom.)
Joey: Oh don’t listen to him, he’s just some guy who really wants
the apartment, but I don’t think he’s gonna get it.
Chandler: Why did you take the shower curtain down?
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) I’m very
safety conscious.
[Scene: Ross’s Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some
room on the shelves for his stuff.]
Rachel: Hey!
在我就要无家可归的时候，
你救了我！你是我的英雄！
英雄？也不算„„
就算是吧。
我要告诉莫妮卡
她有个多好的哥哥！
别这样!
你没有话要说吗?
没有，没有。
不过我要告诉你，
同样的事情也曾发生在
我室友迪妮丝身上，
她搬去和一个暗地里
没有和她离婚的男人一起住，
他说他不爱她了，
但其实还是爱的。
终于感情爆发!
因此她不再和我一起住了！
我承认，是我瞎编的。
嗨，我为刚才的事道歉，
我并不需要一间游戏机房。
小时侯我玩那些游戏
只是因为我找不到女朋友。
现在不会了。
我有你了。
我的意思不是把你看作财产，
不是那个意思。
我尊重女性
够了钱德。
我也很抱歉。
真的?
对!
我们并不需要把它变成客房。
我们可以一起来想想
怎样改造这间房子。
好主意!
应该很容易就能想到些我们
都乐意用这间房子来做的事情。
当然了！
我们没必要现在就讨论。
好的。
嘿，我们不如来想想
可以对起居室做哪些变动吧？
变动?
对，我们应该挪一下家具
好为我的椅子腾个地方。
你要把你的懒汉躺椅搬过来？
不行吗?
那是一对。
它们最好能呆在一起。
有道理，那我就把两个都搬过来。
Ross: Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monica’s and she and
Chandler had a big fight and they’re not moving in.
Ross: What do you mean, they’re not moving in? They-they’re still
moving in right?
Rachel: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my
room.
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
Rachel: Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but I’m also really psyched
‘cause I don’t have to move in here!
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that part’s great!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to
mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: What’s all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over
a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Monica: Ross, we can handle this.
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I can’t just stand by and watch two
people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly.
I mean, enough of the silliness!
Chandler: Well, why don’t you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica
mocks him and he joins in.)
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look I’ve
known you both a long time, and I’ve never seen either of you
one/millionth as happy as you’ve been since you’ve got together.
Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly.
Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft
spot for the love.
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
Chandler: That’s laughter.
Monica: Why do you do it?
Chandler: I don’t know.
Ross: Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica,
right?
Chandler: Yeah, I do.
Ross: And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, don’t ya?
Monica: Yes.
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state
of New York! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for
Gunther, yep Gunther’s back, to refill her coffee.]
Gunther: So I understand you’re looking for a place.
Rachel: No-no, I’m staying put.
Gunther: Oh, I was going to offer you my apartment.
Rachel: Why, where are you going?
Gunther: I don’t know.
Ross: (entering) Hey Rach!
Rachel: Hi!
Ross: You’re never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are
moving in again. That’s great news right—I mean for them. Right?
Rachel: Oh wow.
可那样你就让它们背井离乡了。
我明白了。
在这里我不能拥有任何东西！
这里的一切都是你的！
早晨起来，我得穿上你的衣服，
走出去上班！
对，对，你说的对，
什么都是我的，你什么都没有！
我就是这个意思！
拜托了钱德！
我只是在讨论躺椅的问题!
它摆在这里不合适！
你打算把它放在哪儿呢？
游戏机房！
这不能怪我，是你的椅子丑到极点！
好，我听你的！听你的！
我不把椅子搬过来！
我什么也不搬过来！
我不想破坏婆婆房间里的气氛！
你申请表里的各项条件都不错。
哦！最后一个问题，
你和你朋友会经常到这儿来
聚会、开party吗？
哦不用担心，我并不是个那种爱交际的女孩。
Whoa!!
不要想都不想就脱口而出，
我希望你认真考虑之后再回答，好吗？
别再找室友了!
嗨！我会住在这里。
别听他胡说，他只是个
很想住进来的家伙，
可我不会让他住的。
为什么把浴帘拆下来？
挂着太危险了！
我的安全意识很强。
嘿!
嘿! 我正在帮你的东西腾些地方。
哦谢谢。
不过我刚从莫妮卡那儿过来，
她和钱德大吵了一架，
他们不会一起住了。
什么？他们不一起住了？
他们还是要一起住的对吧?
不会了，他们因为我的房间
大吵了一架。
什么?! 为了一个可笑的房间！
对，我为他们难过，
可同时我又很高兴，
因为我不用搬到这里了！
哦对，对，这部分结果是不错的！
Ross: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Rachel: Yeah. Y’know umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really
appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but don’t
you think it’s gonna be weird?
Ross: Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?
Rachel: Well, because of us! Because of our history.
Ross: No!
Rachel: No?
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean
are you still in that place?
Rachel: No! Not at all!
Ross: Good! Me neither! So it’s not a problem. We’re just two friends
who happen to be roommates.
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Ross: Really?! We are?
Rachel: Yeah! I’m gonna have a boyfriend, you’re gonna have a
girlfriend„
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Rachel: But y’know what, if you think it’s gonna be okay we’ll just
work out a system. Y’know, it’ll be like college, I’ll hang a hanger
on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, I’m gettin’ lucky."
(Laughs.)
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didn’t
think of that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in
by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that it’s
best for Ross, not necessarily what’s best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean it’s
a really big step! And-and what’s the rush?!
(They both start laughing at him.)
Monica: That’s very funny!
Chandler: He’s being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the
silliness!
Ross: No, I-I-I’m serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move
in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing y’know you
break up!
Monica: Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about
a room.
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isn’t about the room,
this is about what the room„represents! And unfortunately, this room
(Points to Rachel’s room) could destroy you!!
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not so worried.
Monica: Yeah, no, me neither.
Ross: Fine! It’s your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed
attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops
and tries one last time.) I just don’t want to see you guys break
up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler
just stare at him.) but that’s what you want, there’s nothing I can
do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DON’T DO IT!!!!!
(Finally leaves.)
Monica: You still want to move in together right?
你们到底吵个什么?!
就为了一个房间?!
太傻了！
罗斯，我们自己能解决。
很明显你们不能。
我不能眼看着我最关心的
两个人这样互相伤害，
而原因又是这么的可笑！
别再做傻事了！
你干吗不告诉她
别再做这种傻事！
够了够了!
这就是两个很重要的原因。
我认识你们两个这么久，
拍拖以前你们最大的快乐
也不及现在的万分之一，
你们难道真的要只为了一间房子
而放弃所有这一切吗？
太傻了。
哪一个更重要？爱情，还是
发傻？
我们喜欢做傻事，
但我们更看重爱情。
爱情是最好的药品。
那是欢笑。
你找茬吗？
是又怎么样。
好了！好了!
钱德，
你愿意和莫妮卡住在一起吗?
我愿意。
莫妮卡，你愿意和钱德住在一起吗？
我愿意。
好极了! 一个口头契约
在纽约州达成了！
我听说你在找房子。
不，我不用搬出去了。
哦，我是想问你
愿不愿意住我那里。
那你住哪里？
我不知道。
嘿瑞秋!
嗨!
说出来你一定不信，
莫妮卡和钱德又打算搬到一起了。
真是个好消息！
我的意思是对于他们，是吧？
哦wow。
不过从好的一面来想，
我们又有机会做室友了。
嗯，不过，你也知道，那个，
Chandler: Of course!
Monica: Ross didn’t scare you?
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Monica: Come here, I want to show you something!
Chandler: Okay!
(They run to the living room where Monica has moved the chair back
(Towards the step), the coffee table forward (Towards the TV), and
taped a square outline on the floor.)
Chandler: Oh my God! Someone’s killed Square Man!
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see
you could see the TV and it’s still walking distance to the kitchen.
Chandler: Oh that’s so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Monica: Okay!
Chandler: Y’know those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Monica: Uh-hmm.
Chandler: Y’know? So I was thinking that we could get one of those
signs and hang it over our bed. Because, that’s you and I together!
Merge!
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Chandler: Really?!
Monica: Uh, no!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first
new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed!
How’d you whined up there?
You are a mystery!
Little black curly hair!
Little black curly hair!
Little black, little black, little black,
little black, little black curly hair„„„„
(Applause.)
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows,
then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Rachel: Umm, well let’s see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
Ross: Fighting?!
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think it’s great they work
things out.
Ross: Yeah. There’s no breaking them up, is there?
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across
the street and make a copy?
Ross: Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make
a copy, there’s no turning back.
Ross: Yeah, I’m-I’m sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before
I change my mind. (She exits)
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel
is a good idea?
Ross: I’ve been back and forth.
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and
before you know it you’re right where you don’t want to be! Back
罗斯，我很感激
你让我搬到你那里。
可你不觉得有点怪怪的吗？
为为为什么?!
为什么你会觉得怪怪的呢？
因为我们啊！我们的恋爱史。
不会!
不会?
不会! 不会!
如果我们还是和以前一样，
我才会觉得不自在。
你还和以前一样吗？
不! 完全不同了!
好极了! 我也是!
所以那已经不是问题了。
我们只是两个普通朋友，
碰巧要住在一起。
有道理，可是，罗斯，
慢慢地我们会开始约会。
真的吗?! 我们会吗?
当然了！我会有个男朋友，
你会有个女朋友
哦！那可太好了。
不过，要是你愿意，
我们可以想个办法互不干扰，
就像在大学的时候，我在门上
挂个衣架，贴张纸条：
“等一会儿再回来吧，
我正在蜜运中”。
我没想到那个。
你们想清楚了要住在一起吗？
这实在是一个太大的转变！
干吗这么着急呢？！
真好笑!
他故意发傻，
因为他知道我们喜欢傻事。
不，我是认真的！仔细考虑一下。
你们住在一起，
为无聊的游戏机房争吵，
然后你们就会分手！
罗斯，你以前说的很对，
为房间争吵确实很蠢。
一点也不愚蠢!!
这可是关于房间。
关于房间所象征的一切!
很不幸，这小小房间会毁了你们!!
可我不担心。
我也是。
好吧! 这是你们的人生!
我只是不想眼睁睁看你们分手！
如果你们住在一起，这是注定的。
together!
Ross: Ehh, I don’t, I don’t think so. She’s already talked about
y’know, dating other guys.
Joey: That’s not gonna work out! Then she’s gonna come home all weepy
and you’ll be tellin’ her, "Oh that’s okay. You’ll find someone."
And then, bamn! She finds you!
Ross: Yeah, well, m-maybe you’re right.
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with
you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Phoebe: (on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.
(Rachel enters.)
Joey: Here she comes. Hold on, I’m gonna make your life much easier.
Rachel: All right, well the place was closed. I’ll just copy it later.
Joey: Or not. Uh, Rach, why don’t you just move in with me? (Rachel
sighs.)
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no„ It’s okay, I mean I—look Rach, I
know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursday’s thing, but
we don’t have to do that!
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall.
Wait a minute, unless you’re thinking about Naked Wednesday’s.
Joey: Thursday’s clearly not good for ya, pick a day!
Commercial Break
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey has The Potential Roommate back for
another interview.]
Joey: (opening the door to The Potential Roommate) Hi!
The Potential Roommate: Hi!
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin’ back, umm, okay there have been a
lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and
you are one of the finalists!
The Potential Roommate: Great!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to
make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test.
Now, I’m gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes
to mind.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
Joey: Okay! Here we go. Pillow.
The Potential Roommate: Fight.
Joey: Very good! Okay. G.
The Potential Roommate: String?
Joey: Excellent! Okay umm, doggy.
The Potential Roommate: Kitten?
Joey: Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, but—bye-bye! (He ushers
her out the door.)
End
可惜你们就是要这样，我也管不了了。
不要一起住!!!!!
你还是会搬过来吧？
那当然!
罗斯没吓到你吗?
吓得我永远不敢和他一起住。
过来，给你看样东西！
好的!
哦上帝! 有人在这里
杀死了一个方形人！
这是我为你的懒汉躺椅
安排的地方！
在这儿你可以看电视，
而且几步就能走到厨房。
你想的真周到!
我也给你看样东西!
好啊!
你见过那些大大的，
上面写着“汇合”的路标吗？
呃哼。
我在想，我们不如
也弄一块来挂在床头吧。
因为我们住在一起了!
汇合!
哦！我喜欢！
真的?!
不！！
你趴在我床上，
伤心地把泪流。
你真是悲惨啊!
黑发的小卷毛头！
黑发的小卷毛头!
谢谢!!
如果你们想收到
有关我今后演出的email，
请给我点钱，
这样我才能买电脑。
其他的人呢？
莫妮卡和钱德正忙着。
吵架?!
不，另一件事。
真高兴他们和好了。
对，恐怕也没有什么办法
能把他们分开了，对吧？
嘿，能借用一下你的钥匙吗，
我好到街对面去配一把。
好啊，给你。
谢谢。
考虑清楚了吗？
我要是配了，你就没的后悔咯。
对，我想清楚了。
趁我还没改变主意，赶快去吧。
罗斯，你真的觉得
和瑞秋一起住会是件好事吗？
我正进退两难。
恐怕会昨日重现！你想想，
瑞秋一住进来，
你就会稀里糊涂地掉进情网！
再次拍拖!
呃，不，我不觉得。
她已经开始提到
约会其他人。
这也不是办法啊!
一旦她眼泪汪汪地回到家，
你就会安慰她：
“哦，别伤心了，你会遇见合适的人。”
结果哈! 她找上你了!
嗯，也许你是对的。
我告诉你，罗斯，
她一准儿会再次爱上你！
这是你想要的结局吗？
这会是我想要的吗?
是的。
她来了，记着啊，
我只是想让你活得轻松点。
那家店关门了，我以后再配吧。
干脆别配了。
瑞秋，干吗不搬来和我住？
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa，乔伊!
不不不不
别担心。瑞秋，我知道，
“裸体的星期四”吓着你了。
可我们没必要一定要搞那个啊!
嗯，搬到对门确实方便很多。
等一下，
你不是想搞个“裸体的星期三”吧？
很明显你不喜欢星期四，
挑一天嘛！
嗨!
请进。谢谢你赶过来。
很多人都想住进这间房子，
不过我淘汰了很多。
你进入了决赛!
太好了!
现在，在我做最后决定之前，
为了确保我们兴趣相合，
我准备了些小测验。
我说一个词，然后你说出
你由此想到的第一个词。
挺简单的。
好的！开始了。
枕头大战。
很好！
丁字内裤?
太棒了！
老汉小孩?
哦！对不起。
不对不对，虽然很接近，
再见！
604 The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance
604 The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move
to Ross’s. She’s standing in the kitchen.]
Rachel: So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine?
Monica: This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)
Rachel: And?
Monica: And it’s a magnet!
Rachel: Look at that!
Ross: How weird is that? Y’know? You’re moving in with me and have
the one thing I don’t have. It’s like uh, in a way you-you complete
me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Rachel: What?!
Ross: (in an Australian accent) You complete me kitchen, matey!
Phoebe: Ross, I know what you’re thinking.
Ross: What?
Phoebe: That she’s gonna move in with you and maybe then she’ll fall
in love with you and then when she finds out you’re already married,
she’ll just be happy. Y’know? You’re just, you’re very sad.
Ross: Oh„my„God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Phoebe: What?!!
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you you’re obsessed with her.
It’s always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross,
why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess
your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Phoebe: No! (Ross’s phone rings.)
Ross: (answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?
[Cut to the living room where Monica is helping pack a box.]
Monica: Hey Rach, aren’t these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?
Rachel: No-no, I bought those.
Monica: Ohh! Yeah, I forgot.
Rachel: Yeah. (Rachel walks away.)
Monica: (under her breath) That you’re a liar. (Hides the
candlesticks in a drawer.)
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, that’s great! I’ll be there Monday. And
thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was
the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Monica: Wow! Uh what, did he uh, say?
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment
604 乔伊没买保险
好吧,这些厨房用品中那些是我的?
这个开瓶器
还有?
还有就是它是带磁性的!
看看这个!
真是太不可思议了,你明白吗?
你要搬来跟我住了.
并且带着那个我没有的东西
就象 嗯,在某种程度上你 你成全了我
的厨房
什么?!
你完善了我的厨房,好伙伴!
罗斯,我知道你想的是什么
什么?
就是她要搬来和你一起住了
并且她会再次爱上你.
而当那时她发现你们已经结婚了
她会高兴的,懂吗?
你 你真可耻
噢上帝呀!
我 我明白这是怎么一回事了.
你爱上瑞秋了!
什么?!!
当然咯!这太合理了!
我是说你 你被她迷住了.就是这样
罗斯,你要对瑞秋怎么样?
罗斯,你 你为什么要搬去和瑞秋住?
你什么时候才会向瑞秋坦白你们那秘密的婚约!?
你要她!
不!
啊噢, 电话铃救了你
你好
嘿瑞秋,这些烛台不是我的吗?
不不,这是我买的
噢!对,我忘了
flow rate, huh? They loved it.
Rachel: Well, who wouldn’t?!
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean
it’s temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time
job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor
Geller."
Phoebe: Yeah, Professor and Mrs.
Rachel: And Mrs.?!
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, y’know you and Ross are still married.
Rachel: What?!!
Phoebe: Just kidding!
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Saved your ass.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there
as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: Hi.
Monica: Hey!
Chandler: Oh, what’s the matter?
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Chandler: Yeah?
Phoebe: Well, she told me that I’m gonna die this week, so I’m kinda
bummed about that.
Chandler: What?!
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys don’t know a lot about psychic
readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Monica: Phoebe that’s crazy!
Joey: I can’t believe she would say that too you.
Rachel: Yeah honey you don’t believe her do you?
Phoebe: I don’t—she said y’know that I’d have triplets! But she
also said one of them would be black.
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how you’re gonna
go?
Phoebe: No, ‘cause she didn’t tell me I was gonna die until the very
end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour
there! I mean I’ve only got a week left, y’know? I’ve really gotta
start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of
Car and Driver
(a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Ross: (entering) Hey everyone!
Chandler: Oh hi!
Ross: Hey uh, well, today’s my first lecture and I kinda wanted to
try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
(They pause to think about it.)
All: Oh that’d be great. Sure!
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very
quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow
rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two
distinct„"
Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This what’s gonna kill me.
Ross: (continuing) "„subcategories. The first of these
你是个骗子
不不不,那太好了!
我会在周一到那儿的,再次谢谢你!好的
呃 那是大学古生物系的头儿(学校是)
N Y U (纽约大学)
哇奥! 他 说了 什么 ?
还记得我去年发表的那篇关于沉积物流动率的论文吗?
他们喜欢
对,有谁不呢?!
我知道!
总之,他们请我去做客席讲师
我是说这是临时的,不过呢,如果他们喜欢我的话
那就可能会变成一份全职工作了
想想信箱上的大写(字母)瞧起来会有多棒?
盖勒教授
对,教授及夫人
及夫人?!
噢! 对呀,你知道你和罗斯还结着婚呢
什么?!
开个玩笑
噢!噢 上帝!
救你一命
嘿!
嗨!
噢,怎么了
好吧,你认识那个我看过的通灵者吗?
对呀?
她说我这个礼拜会死
于是对此我就有点状态不佳
什么?!
对,我知道你们几个不太了解通灵术
但这可是你能得到的最糟的结果了
菲比这太疯狂了
我不能相信她会对你说那些东西
是啊亲爱的,你不相信她,不是吗?
我不?
你知道她说过我会生个三胞胎的!
但她也说过其中一个是黑人
只是出于好奇,她有没有说你会怎么死?
没有,因为她不到最后关头也不会告诉我我会死
因此从现在开始我不会再浪费任何一个小时了!
我是说我只有一个礼拜了,知道吗?
我真是该开始好好活了!
嘿各位!
噢 嗨!
嘿 ,今天是我的第一堂课,
subcategories is„"
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks
on that piece of paper?
Ross: No! Why?
Joey: Well, I’ve just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of
paper that didn’t have naked chicks on it.
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card)
"There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories
concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between
Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories
(glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at
Chandler) into„"
Chandler: Why don’t you open with a joke?
Ross: Open with a joke? It’s a university, not a comedy club!
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! You’re not talking about
Chuckles University?!
Ross: (gets up) Okay!
All: Ohh! We’re kidding! Oh, we’re kidding!
Rachel: Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?
Ross: Thank you!
Rachel: Some uh, some visual aides.
Joey: Oh-ooh-ooh! Y’know what’s a good visual aide?
Ross: Please don’t say naked chicks.
Joey: Why not?!
Ross: I-I-I don’t even know why I bother to talk to you guys about
it. Y’know what? I’m just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Chandler: That’s the way I did it ‘til I was 19.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is playing that string game with
the two hands and the weird crossing patterns as Chandler enters with
the mail.]
Chandler: Hey.
Joey: Hey! Any good mail?
Chandler: Yes, you got something from the Screen Actor’s Guild.
Joey: Ooh, it’s probably a residual check, hey can you open it for
me, I’m kinda„.
Chandler: (opens and reads it) "Benefits lapsed."
Joey: Hmm that’s weird. I don’t remember being in a move called
benefits lapsed.
Chandler: Okay, it’s not a check. They’re saying your health
insurance expired because, you didn’t work enough last year.
Joey: Let me see that!
Chandler: All right.
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I can’t believe this! This sucks! When I had
insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, y’know? And it
wouldn’t matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
Chandler: I’m sorry man, there’s never a good time to (pauses) stop
catching on fire.
Joey: All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. I’m gonna go see
my agent.
Chandler: Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the
street.
我有点想先给你们讲讲试试
你们,你们介意吗?
噢 那太好了,当然可以!
关于沉积物的流动率有三种主要理论
其中每一种又能被进一步分成两种截然不同的
噢 就是它了 就是它会杀了我
子理论 其中第一个子理论是
噢 罗斯!
那张纸上有 有脱光的女孩儿吗?
没有! 为什么(会有)?
好吧,我可从没见过一个人那么认真的盯着一张纸,
而那纸上却没有脱光的女孩儿.
噢! 好吧 好吧
有三种...
主要的理论
关于沉积物的流动率
其中每一种又能被进一步分
成
你为什么不用一个笑话来开场呢?
以笑话开场?
那可是大学,不是什么喜剧俱乐部!
等一等, 别挂电话!
你不是在说咯咯笑的大学呀?!
够了!
噢!我们是开玩笑的,开个玩笑嘛!
罗斯,想知道什么能让你的课不那么无聊吗?
非常感谢!
某种呃,某种实际(看的见)的帮助
噢-噢--噢!你知道什么是又好又看的见的帮助吗?
请别说是脱光的女孩儿
为什么不呢?
我-我-我真搞不懂干嘛要费事来跟你们这几个讲这些东西.知道吗?
我就要以我自己的方式来干,用不着脱光的女孩儿
我19岁之前也一直是那么做的.
嘿
嘿
有什么好消息吗?
有,有封演员行会给你的信.
噢,说不定是张片酬支票
你能帮我拆开吗,我有点
保险失效
真是太奇怪了
我不记得我演过一部叫"保险失效"的电影呀
好吧,这不是支票.
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) „look both ways before you cross
the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe enters to find Rachel still
packing.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, you’re still alive! How are you doing?
Phoebe: Ugh, it’s so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way,
do you think you could—(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes
open and her tongue hanging out.)
Rachel: Pheebs, what-what are you doing?
Phoebe: I was preparing you for my—didn’t you think I was dead? Did
that not come off?
Rachel: Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought we’d lost you
forever. Pheebs, you lie down?
Phoebe: Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you
just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, y’know if you can.
(Phoebe goes and lies down as Rachel opens the drawer Monica hid the
candlesticks in and as Monica walks out of her room.)
Rachel: Monica!
Monica: Hmm? (Rachel holds up the candlesticks.)
Rachel: Did-did you take these back?
Monica: No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought
some for myself.
Rachel: Oh yeah, they’re really great! Aren’t they?
Monica: I loved them!
Rachel: Yeah. (Monica walks away) Nice try! (Rachel puts them in a
box.)
Ross: (entering) Hello!
Monica: Hey!
Rachel: Hey!
Monica: How’d the lecture go?
Ross: It went great! And I didn’t need any jokes or naked chicks
either!
Rachel: Wow, that’s great Ross, I’m sorry we weren’t more
supportive before.
Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself.
Everyone’s all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved
them wrong! And now, I’m gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.
Monica: That you’re not funny or sexy?
Ross: That’s right!
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his
agent.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Estelle, listen„
Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They
think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!
Joey: What are you talkin’ about? I never left you! You’ve always
been my agent!
Estelle: Really?!
Joey: Yeah!
Estelle: Oh well, no harm, no foul.
Joey: Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I-I lost my health
信上说由于你去年工作的不够,你的医疗保险过期了.
让我看看!
好的.
噢,真是难以置信!这太不爽了!
知道吗?有保险时我可以被车撞或是被火烧而没有关系.
而现在我得小心点了?!
我很抱歉,日子将变得不爽当你....
要避免被火烧的时候.
的确,我想我得找个活儿干了,我要去见我的经理人.
好的,过马路时记住先往左右看看.
过马路时先往左右看看.
嘿!
嘿 菲比
你还活着!
感觉怎么样?
呃,等死真是累人呀.
噢,顺便说一下,你能不能?
菲比,你 你在干什么?
我正准备让你成为我的
难道你不认为我死了吗?难道这没有发生吗?
噢是的,可怕的地狱放弃了我,我想我们要永远失去你了.
菲比,躺下来
好的,谢谢.听着,你能帮我个忙吗?
你能不能嗯,两个小时后叫醒我,如果你能的话.
莫妮卡!
嗯?你把这些拿回去了?
不不,我只是 太喜欢它们了,所以我自己出去买了一对.
噢对,它们真是太漂亮了!不是吗?
我爱它们!
对,干得不错!
你好! 嘿! 嘿!
课讲得怎么样?
太棒了!
而且我也没讲什么笑话或是脱光的女孩儿!
Wow,太棒了罗斯.我很遗憾我们之前不太支持你.
我知道我该做的就是让它顺其自然.
大家都认为"罗斯你该有趣些性感些"
好,我证明他们错了!
现在,我要把这个消息告诉乔伊和钱德去了.
是你既不有趣也不性感的消息吗?
非常正确!
insurance.
Estelle: All right, first thing we gotta do, damage control.
Joey: Why?
Estelle: Well, I think uhh, someone out there may have been bad
mouthing you all over town.
Joey: Bastard!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in
the fetus position on the floor.]
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions
for me tomorrow and I’ll have my health insurance back in no time.
Chandler: That’s great, but shouldn’t you be on the toilet right
now?
Joey: What?!
Chandler: What’s wrong with you?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when
I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, haven’t
been able to stand up since. But um, I don’t think it’s anything
serious.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have to—you-you go to the
doctor!
Joey: No way! ‘Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything
it’s gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over
and shows Chandler.)
Chandler: That’s a hernia.
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights
he was using.) Damn you 15s!
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk
to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Rachel: Well, we’re a little early, the lecture doesn’t end for 15
minutes.
Monica: Yeah, but y’know we could sneak in and watch.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! There’s some Kappa Kappa Deltas!
I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica)
Wow, we really are bitches.
(They enter the lecture hall to find Ross speaking in an English accent
for some unknown reason.)
Ross: (to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from
the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be
igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation
when—(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.
Commercial Break
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, the scene is continued from earlier, only
Ross has dismissed the class and is now talking to Monica and Rachel.]
Monica: What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going
to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me.
I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
Rachel: Yeah, and not a very good one.
Ross: Will you-will you please?
(Another professor walks down from the back of the lecture hall.)
嘿 艾丝苔拉,听我说
瞧 瞧 瞧 !乔伊 崔比昂尼
那么你回来了?
别人都以为他们能够做得更好,但最后他们都回到艾丝苔拉的身边来了!
你在说什么呀?
我从没离开过你!你一直是我的经理人!
真的?!
对!
噢 好吧,没恶意的
艾丝苔拉,你得给我找个活儿干,我 我失去了我的健康保险
好吧.首先我们要做的事是,控制损失
为什么?
是啊,我想 嗯,有些人在城里给你到处造谣呢.
混蛋!
嘿!
嘿!明天艾丝苔拉给我安排了一大堆试镜.
我马上就又会有医疗保险了.
这太好了,但你是不是该马上去一下厕所?
什么?
你哪里不舒服?
没哪里!
好吧,刚才我 我举重时肚子突然疼得不得了
然后我 呃 就晕过去了 呃 之后就站不起来了
但是 ,我认为这没有什么大不了的.
看上去象是疝气,你得, 你 你得去看医生!
没门儿!瞧着,要是我去医生那儿看些什么病....
这东西就得从我的肚子里出来!
那是疝气
为什么我又得开始工作了呢?
该死的哑铃!
欧,我们来得早了点,15分钟内课还不会结束.
对,但你知道我们可以偷偷溜进去瞧瞧
对,我们可以
嘿瞧啊!那有几个Kappa Kappa Delta的会员!我也是个会员呢
嘿姐妹们!
哇喔,我们真是犯贱
对!当Rigby从实验室取回他的样品时
他有了一个令人震惊的发现!
那些他原以为是火成岩的东西,其实是沉积岩
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, I’m a professor in the
paleontology department here.
Ross: Oh.
The Professor: Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture?
Ross: (in his British accent) I’m sorry, I’ve got plans with my
sister.
Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her ‘R’)
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes
Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I can’t?! (To
an exiting student in accent.) Top ‘O the morning to ya laddies!
Ross: Just please stop!
(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman.)
Rachel: (in an Indian accent) Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time
of year.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey,
still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them
both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk
back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Chandler: Hey, will you grab me a cruller? (Joey starts to groan and
get up.) Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?!
Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides it’s
getting darker and more painful, that means it’s healing.
Chandler: I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and let’s
just get that thing„pushed back in.
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money
back and I don’t want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as
soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want!
Yeah, I’m thinking I’ll probably start with that laser eye surgery
too.
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Chandler: Hey.
Joey: Hey!
Phoebe: What’s going on?
Chandler: Oh Joey’s got a really bad hernia, but that’s nothing a
little laser eye surgery won’t fix!
Joey: Look, I’m telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here
(He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on
Married„With
Children always used to do.) it doesn’t hurt that bad.
Phoebe: Hey! Maybe you’ll die!
Joey: Sure, now I’m scared.
Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just don’t wait too long though, okay?
‘Cause I’m outta here sometime before Friday.
Joey: Yeah, but I don’t wanna die!
Phoebe: No-no, it’ll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these
guys!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are having a tug-of-war
over the disputed candlesticks.]
Monica: Gimme ‘em!
Rachel: No! They are mine!
想象一下当时他有多么的震惊吧
噢该死!
你到底在干些什么呀?!
瞧,我有点紧张!
你们几个让我担心我的课会很无聊
我站在讲台上时学生们都盯着我看
我一张嘴就带上了英国腔
对,而且还不那么正宗
请你 请你让一让好吗?
盖勒教授,我叫科特 拉什曼
我是古生物系的教授
能赏光聊聊你的课吗?
抱歉,我和我的妹妹有事要办
莫妮卡 盖勒
对,您不介意我们俩单独谈一会儿吧?
你说什么呢?
噢,就你能有口音而我不能
上午女士们最棒
请别这样了!
对 对 孟买在一年里的这个时候很漂亮
嘿,能帮我带个煎饼来吗?
坐下!
你要不要去医院了
伙计!疝气手术可能要花不少的钱
而且现在越来越让我疼得眼发花了
这意味着它正在好转
我会借给你钱的
只要你去趟医院,只是把那玩意儿推推回去
谢谢,但这得让我还你一辈子的钱
我不想让这成天让我不安,好吗?
而且,一旦我的保险恢复了,我就能免费做所有我想做的手术了
对呀,我想我可能会以那个激光眼科手术为开端.
嘿!
嘿
出什么事了?
乔伊得了非常严重的疝气,但那不是一个小小的激光眼科手术能治好的!
瞧,我得告诉你,如果我把我的手放在我肚子的这个部位
它就不那么疼了
嘿!你可能会死的!
当然,现在我开始害怕了
不,我们可以一块儿去死的!
就是别屏的太久,好吗?因为我会在礼拜五前的某个时候翘掉
对呀,但我不想死!
不 不,那会很好玩儿的!我们在这里还魂来吓唬他们!
Monica: You stole them from me!
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
Monica: Gimme them!
(With one last mighty tug the combatants lose their grip and split,
each holding one candlestick.)
Monica: You just wanna each take one?
Rachel: Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.
Ross: (entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did
I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?
Rachel: Well„
Monica: Why don’t you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and
people will think you’re, y’know, that you’re adjusting to life
in America.
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean
they’re probably not even listening!
Ross: They’re not listening too me?
Rachel: Of course they’re listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
Ross: Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing?
Monica: I think you look fine.
[Scene: Casting Director #1’s office, Joey is on his first audition.
His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
Casting Director #1: Whenever you’re ready.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, I’ve got a
surprise for you."
Casting Director #1: Hold it. I’m sorry, the surprise is a new swing
set, if you could play it a little less„intense?
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, I’ll just—hold on one second. (He
turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.)
(In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, I’ve got a surprise for you!"
Casting Director #1: Oh my God!!
(Joey pulls his hand out and reverts back to intense pain.)
[Scene: Casting Director #2’s office, Joey is on his second audition.
This one is for
Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the
gratuitous product placement.]
Joey: So that’s why I feed my dog
Purina One! Pick up a bag today!
(He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he won’t be able to pick
it up.)
Casting Director #2: That’s where you pick up the bag.
Joey: Exactly.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick
up the bag.
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah,
Purina One,
point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didn’t get it, did
I?
Casting Director #2: No.
Joey: Yeah, okay. (Leaves)
[Scene: Casting Director #3’s office, Joey is entering.]
Joey: Hi. I’m Joey Tribbiani; I’m here to audition for (Groans) man.
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
Joey: Yes!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are playing phone
给我!
不!那是我的!
是你从我这里偷去的!
是你偷的!!
给我!!
你想每人拿一个吗?
是啊 这看来挺公平的
我们从未用过它们
听着,我确实需要些帮助,好吗?
为什么?为什么我要带着英国腔说话?!
我都干了些什么呀?
为什么你不能让它消失呢?
对,让那口音慢慢淡化.
于是人们就会认为你,你知道的,
你正在适应在美国生活
对呀,我是说,就这么干吧,没人会注意的.
我是说有可能他们都不在听你讲课!
他们不在听我讲课?
他们当然在听你讲课!人人都在听呢
莫妮卡,你是否真的认为我该试试这个淡化的玩意儿
我认为你气色很好
准备好了
开始
嘿,添米,我有个惊喜给你
打住了 抱歉 这个惊喜是个新的秋千组合,
你能否稍微带些热情来演呢
噢对,当然,没问题.我会的 稍等一会儿
嘿 添米 我有个惊喜给你
噢上帝呀
这就是为什么我给我的狗喂普雷纳一号的原因
今天就买一包吧!
你得从那儿拿起那包(狗食)
的确
对,底线是你得拿起来,所以你得拿起那包(狗食)
或者说,我可以只是指指他 嗯
无聊无聊无聊 普雷纳一号 就指一包吧
我没合格,是吧?
是的
嗨,我是乔伊崔比昂尼,我来试镜,演个男人
你是说快死的男人吧?
对呀!
好吧,来,再干一次!
真的 真的
真的
你好罗斯
pranks on Ross.]
Monica: Okay, come on, do it one more time!
Rachel: Really? Really?!
Monica: Yes!
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish
accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent
University, we’d like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs
up.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey!
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, I’m not going die!
Rachel: Really?! How do you know?
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She must’ve read the cards wrong!
Rachel: Oh, I’m sorry.
Phoebe: Eh, better her than me! Hey, let’s bake cookies!
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is
now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to
carry him in.]
Chandler: Listen, I’m really glad you got the part.
Joey: (barely audible through the pain) Thank you.
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
Joey: Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for
helping me take a shower.
(Chandler steps away quickly.)
Chandler: Now, is that never talking about it again?!
Joey: (to the director) Hiya!
The Director: Hey Joey, we’re ready for ya! (Joey stumbles over)
Joey, this is Alex he’s going to be playing your son.
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are
not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says
his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," that’s your cue to cry.
Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, let’s do this.
(Joey lies down on the gurney.)
A Crew Member: (with that board thingy) Scene 5, take 1.
The Director: And Action!
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him
and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.)
"Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on
son! Your Momma’s good people!"
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember you’re supposed to cry. Can you
cry for us this time?
Alex: Okay.
The Director: All right, from the top.
A Crew Member: Scene 5, take 2.
[Time lapse.]
A Crew Member: Take 36 is up!
The Director: All right! Let’s try this again! You ready Joe?
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream
right up until you say action?
The Director: Uh sure.
我是假口音大学的麦克娜丽教授
我们希望你来我们这里工作,全职的!
嘿!
嘿!
听着
我的那个通灵预测错了,我不会死了!
真的?!你怎么知道的?
因为我的通灵师死了
她一定是解错了牌
噢,我很抱歉
呃,她死总比我死好
嘿,我们来烘曲奇饼吧!
听这,我很高兴你得到这个角色
谢谢
但你肯定你干得了吗?
当然
而且我还得谢谢你来陪我
并再次感谢你帮我洗澡
够了,别再提这事了
你好
嘿乔伊,就等你了
乔伊,这是阿历克斯,他将扮演你的儿子
你好阿历克斯
对了,你可看见了,我的手可没在裤衩里哟
没有
好了,阿历克斯 当乔伊说他的那句台词
儿子你要好好照顾你妈妈时,就到你哭的时候了.
懂了吗
好吧,我们干吧
场景5,第一镜
开拍
儿子你要好好照顾你的妈妈
哭呀儿子!你妈可是个好人呀
停
阿历克斯,记住你是要哭的,这次你能哭给大家看吗
可以
好,从头再来
场景5,第2镜
第36镜开始
好吧!让我们再试试!准备好了吗乔伊
嗯,还有间事
你是否介意如果我 如果我在你说开拍前一直大喊
嗯 没问题
开拍
儿子你要好好照顾你的妈妈
停!!!!!!
我很抱歉
Joey: Okay. (Starts screaming.)
The Director: Action!
Joey: (he stops screaming at action) "Take good care of your Momma
son." (Again Alex does nothing.)
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
(Chandler decides to help out.)
Chandler: I’m sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why don’t you uh, lift up your
shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts
crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone
rings.]
Rachel: (answering it) Hello?
Russell: (Ross’s divorce lawyer.) Hello, is Ross there?
Rachel: Uh no, he’s not. Can I take a message?
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Ross’s divorce lawyer, just tell him that
since I haven’t heard from him, I assume he’s decided to give the
marriage a try.
Rachel: Ross got married again—Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Ross is trying to phase out his accent.]
Ross: (in his head)
All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent
out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the
laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have
identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating
analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One
student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
A Student: What’s happening to your accent?
Ross: (British) Come again? What’s-what’s this nonsense?
(Giggles.) (American.) All right, I’m-I’m not English. I’m from
Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came
out. I’m sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm,
were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About
paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was
just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up.
But what you guys think of me is really important because I’m-I’m
hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another
chance to make a good impression„
(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say,
she’s not in the best of moods having just found out Ross’s dirty
little secret.)
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you
just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh,
I could just kill you!!!!
Ross: (in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!
Ending Credits
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and
apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat
him senseless. (Luckily it isn’t a long trip.) Because he’s made
a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of
all those free surgeries he can get now since he’s re-established
his health insurance.]
Phoebe: Have you really done this before?
嘿 嘿乔伊 你为什么不 嗯 把你的衬衫撩起来
瞧瞧这位老兄
这有个哭包了!让该死的摄影机转起来
你好
你好,罗斯在吗
不,他不在.我能给他带个信吗?
可以,我叫罗塞尔,是罗斯的离婚律师
告诉他由于最近没有他的消息,我猜他是否不准备离婚了
罗斯又结婚了?
不-----!!!!!!!!
好吧,继续,我们要让口音慢慢淡化,让它消掉
所以在没有 重 测 实验室的结果的前提下
这组(人员)是不会鉴别出....
他们最初所做的碳同位素年代分析中的错误
对此有什么疑问吗
是的
你的口音怎么了?
又来了 这 这都哪儿跟哪儿呀
好吧,我 我不是英国人
我出生在长岛
我真的很紧张,这口音就这么 就这么冒出来了
对不起了
那么,我们能否回到正题上来呢
嗯 还有什么问题吗?
关于古生物学的
好吧,瞧 我只是为了留下一个好的第一印象
很明显 我搞砸了
但你们大家对我的看法真的很重要
因为我 我想在这得到份长久的工作
所以如果你们再给我个机会来给你们留下个好印象的话
罗斯!! 你疯了吗?!
我还是你的老婆!!怎么了,你准备永远不告诉我吗?!!
你到底犯的哪门子傻?!!!!
噢 我真想宰了你
你好瑞秋
你以前真这么干过吗?
对 对 对
只要把胳膊挥的大 大一点,就先在 别犹豫
嘿!
嘿!
你们在干什么?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, don’t 我们在庆祝乔伊的医疗保险失而复得
hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and 噢 好的
Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler
and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Phoebe: We’re just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance
back.
Chandler: Oh, all right.
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a
golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating
their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
End
605 The One With Joey’s Porsche
605 The One With Joey’s Porsche
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and
Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about
Ross’s secret marriage.]
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didn’t tell me that we are still
married!!
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All)
Ross didn’t get the annulment; we are still married.
Chandler: What?
Monica: You’re kidding!
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
Monica: Ross!
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasn’t my best decision. But I just couldn’t
face another failed marriage.
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you
think this was a successful marriage?
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, it’s actually kinda funny.
(He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe it’s best not to think
about it.
Phoebe: Okay, this is inexcusable. I am shocked to my very core!
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, you’re not married
to anymore of us are ya?
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some
more coffee.]
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to
a Porsche! {Transcriber’s note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys
605 乔伊的保时捷
真不敢相信， 你竟然没告诉我，我们还没离婚。
我这不是正准备告诉你么。
什么时候？等到我们第一个私生子出世么？
Ross还没拿到离婚协议书，我们还是夫妇。
欧，上帝呀！
Ross!
好吧，也许是我的不对，
可我真的无法再次面对失败的婚姻了。
我插进来问个问题先，
你从那点看来，这曾经是个成功的婚姻呢？
Rach， 你想想，其实这还是挺有意思的。
算了，还是什么都不要想的好。
这真是个不可饶恕的过错，
我从心底里感到震惊。
Phoebe， 我已经告诉她你知道了。
又一个谎言，你有毛病了吧！
Ross， 只是随便问问，
你不会再和我们中别的什么人结婚了吧？
噢! 嘿，有人钥匙掉了。
噢，是保时捷的钥匙。
嘿，Gunther， 这是你的么？
是的，我就是开它来的。
我每小时才赚4美元，我攒了整整350年！
to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, I’d have the keys
surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Gunther: Yeah, that’s what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved
up for 350 years!
Joey: Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?
Monica: Joey, why don’t you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: There’s a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the
table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Joey: Well, I didn’t realize until I got home. I wasn’t gonna walk
all the way back down here with one shoe! Y’know what? I’m gonna
go find that guy’s car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to
do so.)
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, I’ll be sure to
give him your shoe.
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are
here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three
incredibly cute little puppies?!
Monica: Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!
Chandler: (not enthused) Yeah, all right.
Phoebe: Okay, well I’ll bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and
uh, by the way, they’re not actually puppies, they’re Frank and
Alice’s triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! What?
Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please!
Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and I’m
nervous ‘cause I’ve never done that before by myself!
Monica: Don’t worry about it Phoebe, we’ll absolutely do it.
Chandler: Yeah, I’m gonna pass. ‘Cause I was kinda iffy when it was
puppies.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! It’ll give us great practice for
when—(realizes what she’s about to say and changes)—people with
babies come to visit.
[Scene: The street down the block from Central Perk, Joey has found
the Porsche and is writing the note.]
Guy #1: Nice car!
Joey: Yeah, it’s not mine.
Woman: (walking up) I love your car.
Joey: Yeah, it’s (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Woman: I bet it’s fast.
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Woman: Yeah!
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) It’s got ‘em!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Ross’s,
and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right
now.
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town
for a while, I don’t have a roommate.
Rachel: Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs.
别瞎扯了！
嘿，有人掉了钥匙么？
Joey， 你为什么不把它们放在失物招领箱呢？
这儿有失物招领箱么？
我的鞋！
你掉了只鞋在这儿？
等我到家才发现，
我才懒得穿着一只鞋走那么长的路回来取呢！
好吧，
我去找那个人的车，然后在挡风玻璃上留张条。
好的，他回来找钥匙的时候，
我只能把你的鞋子给他了。
好的，谢谢！
噢，太好了，太好了，你们都在呢！
听我说，你们明天能帮我照顾一下
三只超级可爱的小狗狗么？
噢，好呀，肯定会很有趣的。
无所谓啦。
好的，那我明天早上把他们带过来。
恩，其实，他们不是真的小狗狗，
他们是Frank 和 Alice的三胞胎。好的，再见！
喂-喂-喂，什么？
求求你们了，求求你们了！
就帮个忙吧！
Frank 和 Alice 让我帮忙看孩子，
我好紧张亚，我原来从来没照顾过孩子！
别担心，Phoebe，我们当然会帮忙了。
我也没问题，
如果是小狗，我反倒觉得可疑呢。
别这样，Chandler，
这是绝佳的练习机会，如果......
如果有人带小孩来拜访的时候。
车不错呀。 可惜不是我的。
挺喜欢你的车。
是的，当然是我的。
开起来肯定很快吧？
当然了，
而且很舒适，你......
你喜欢绒毛座椅么？
当然了！
它正好有。
这儿有我的箱子，
Ross那里也有，
可是我却没地方住！
唉，我现在很容易就胡思乱想。
那我呢？
我刚发现Denise 出城之后，
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
Rachel: Well there’s an idea!!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
thPhoebe: Umm, she said she’d be back December 26.
thRachel: December 26, huh maybe she’s Santa Clause.
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked
up all the forms. I’ll take care of everything.
Rachel: Well sure, if you say you’re gonna take care of everything
I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from
him.) All right, now I’m gonna do this my way and I don’t want to
hear a peep out of you!
Ross: Okay Rach, but„
Rachel: Op! You’re peeping!
(Ross grunts something and hands her the pen he was trying to hand
her.)
Rachel: Ross! Y’know what, I just got—why? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you„
Rachel: I don’t wanna hear "Three failed marriages!"
Ross: Look, if you’d had two failed marriages, you’d understand!
Rachel: Well, y’know what? Thanks to you I’m half way there! Ugh!
Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I don’t think I have ever been this angry!
Ross: What about the time I said we were on a break?
Rachel: Ugh! (Stares at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and
Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Monica: Pheebs, how’s it going?
Phoebe: (rapidly) I’m doing okay. I think it’s going well. Do you
think they’re having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, it’s going great. Look at
Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before?
Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from
the bottle when he suddenly smells something. It’s times like these
I’m glad Smell-O-Vision hasn’t been invented.) Do you know what
Pheebs? When you’re done over there, we kinda have a situation over
here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Phoebe: Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.
Chandler: See that’s where I think that you’re wrong. We’ve been
playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone
defense.
Monica: What do you mean?
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each
have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And y’know
Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking
how cute they are when they put their hands around„ (He degrades into
baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Phoebe: That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge
of wiping.
就没人和我一起住了。
也许，也许我可以和你一起住，Pheebs.
是呀，也许你可以当我的室友！
这主意不错吧！
是呀！
太好了！
可是，Denise 什么时候回来呢？
恩，她说她12月26号回来。
12月26号？
也许她就是圣诞老人呢。
噢，瞧呀，这是谁呀，我老公，我的小甜心。
好了，我们明天中午2：00上庭。
我取来了所有的表，
我来搞定一切。
当然了，如果你说你来搞定所有事情的话，
我当然没有理由质疑你了。
把表给我！
好吧，这次我要用我的方法办事，
我不希望你叽叽喳喳的插嘴。
好吧，Rach，可是......
噢，开始啦！
Ross! 我只是，我......
为什么？你为什么这么做？
我跟你说过的。
我不想听什么“三次婚姻失败”了。
如果你有两次失败的婚姻，你就会懂了！
好吧，那我该谢谢你，我现在有一次了。
噢，噢，我要疯了！ Ross
我从来没有这么生气过！
我那次说我们分开的时候呢？
噢！
Pheebs， 情况如何？
很好呀，我觉得都很顺利。
你觉得他们开心么？我是不是说得太快了？
没有啊，我和你差不多。
Pheebs， 一切都很顺利，
你瞧Chandler和小乖乖女Chandler。
小乖乖女Chandler， 我原来在那里听过?
噢，是的，Ruben教练。
Pheebs， 你那里忙完了赶快过来，
我这里也有情况了。
不，不行，我们各自负责自己的宝宝。
你瞧，我正巧觉得它有问题呢。
我们不应该人盯人的对付这些宝贝儿，
我们应该区域防守。
什么意思？
我只是觉得这样处理起来会简单一些，
如果我们都有各自负责的区域的话。
Chandler: Okay, I’m a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper
changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and
Monica puts the diaper on.]
Monica: This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at
the restaurant.
Phoebe: Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I
ordered.
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, I’m having the best morning. That uh, that
Porsche I’ve got the keys too, still there!
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when I’m with that car!
People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car!
One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Chandler: What equity investments?
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler
wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He
drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just
standing there, they’re gonna start to think that I don’t own it.
So I figured I’ll wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some
soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and
polishing compound.
Chandler: You don’t even have a car!
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in
front of the building, so I washed it.
Chandler: And?
Monica: And six others.
Chandler: There you are.
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is
talking to a guy about the car.]
Joey: Yeah, she tops out at 130.
Guy #2: Wow!
Joey: And that’s just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take
her upstate.
Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?
Joey: Sure!
Guy #2: Well, I’ll see you later.
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
The Porsche Owner: Hey! That’s my car.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
Joey: Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now I’m just polishing her up.
The Porsche Owner: But it’s my car!
Joey: Yeah, but it’s my wax.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I don’t come to this city much so I
don’t know if you’re crazy or this is some kind of street theater,
but could I have my keys.
Phoebe， 你可以负责给他们擦洗。
而你呢，Monica， 负责给他们换尿布，而我
则可以负责欣赏他们在我怀里那可爱的小模样。
这听起来确实是挺不错的，
不过也许你该负责给他们擦洗。
可是，我是个新手，不应该把我放在末区。
这太有意思了！
我们餐厅里就是这样摆盘子的。
是么？可这并不是我点的菜啊！
嘿！
嗨，宝贝们！
噢，今天是最开心的一天了。
那辆，那辆我有钥匙的保时捷，还在那儿呢！
真让人吃惊，
你竟然还拿着钥匙。
你该看看我和那车在一块儿的时候，
人们是怎么对我的！
他们对我特别友好，他们想和我聊天，
不只是关于那辆车！
有个人甚至给我股票投资提建议。
什么股票投资？
就是帮我赚钱买保时捷的呀，你到底有没有在听？
可是我想，如果-
如果他们看见我一直在那儿傻站着的话，
他们也许会觉得那车不是我的。
所以，我准备洗车。
Monica，我可以借用一下你的水桶和肥皂么？
当然了，我有肥皂、海棉、抹布和车蜡。
还有擦亮剂呢。
可你自己连车都没有呀？
我知道，可是，
有一次我看见了一辆非常脏的汽车
就在我们这栋前面，所以我就把它给洗了。
还有呢？
还有另外6辆别的。
怪不得呢。
Yeah， 它速度可达130呢，
这还是在城里的，
如果开到城外，我可以加速到160。
是么？你城外也有房子？
当然了。
好的，回见。
好的，回见！
嗨！
这是我的车
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) I’ll uh, save your parking
spot.
The Porsche Owner: I’m not coming back.
Joey: Why not?
The Porsche Owner: I live upstate.
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
(The guy gets in and drives off.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as
Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Phoebe: I don’t know why I was so nervous about this. And I don’t
know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Monica: Yeah, two hours, a lifetime that’s the same.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake
up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action
figure.)
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someone’s
eye out!
Chandler: He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And
also, look at his smooth area, that’s just gonna mess them up.
Chandler: They’re not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way
over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into
a pile of broken glass!
Phoebe: What?!
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn
to check on the babies again.)
Phoebe: Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.
Monica: Oh it’s so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being
able to put both legs over your head.
Phoebe: Oh, I can still do that.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it
and maybe you’re right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Chandler: I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.
Phoebe: How did that happen?!!
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Y’know? And
it turns out I was wrong. And now it’s lodged in my throat. (Mimics
a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Monica: Damnit! Y’know this whole time we were concentrating on
watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does
it again.)
[Scene: A judge’s chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their
annulment papers.]
Judge: Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment?
Rachel: Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out.
Judge: So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the
grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.
Ross: Fine, I’m mentally unstable.
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
Ross: What?!
是么？嗯......
再给我5分钟时间。
什么？你在干什么？
我，我捡到这些钥匙，
现在只是想把它擦亮一些。
可，这是我的车呀。
是的，没错，但蜡是我的。
好吧，我-我不经常来这儿，
我不知道是你疯了，
还是把这当作是街头艺术表演？
可是，我能要回我的钥匙么？
当然了，给你。
我帮你把车位留着。
我不会回来了。
为什么？
我住在城外。
是么？我也是。
我不知道我为什么这么紧张。
我也不知道为什么Frank 和 Alice 为什么老是抱怨个不停。
这看起来很容易么。
是呀，两个钟头和一辈子真的是差不多呀。
瞧瞧这个，瞧瞧这个！
小宝宝醒的时候，就会看见这个Krog了。
Chandler，你在干嘛？
这东西会把他们的眼珠戳出来！
他比这强大的多，他可以毁灭整个宇宙！
不，Chandler，他们会吞下那些小部件的!
而且， 你瞧那些光滑的部分，
会把他们搞得一团糟.
他们不会吞任何东西的.
你们太过于多虑了.
我小的时候，
我妈还把我扔到碎玻璃堆里去呢.
什么？
玻璃，沙子，管他什么呢．
噢，你看小Leslie在睡梦中舒展着身体。
她太可爱了！
你是什么时候开始不能把双腿伸到头后面的？
噢，我现在也可以亚。
那你为什么现在还单身？
好吧。
我好好想了想，也许你们是对的，
Krog 可能不是个安全的玩具。
是么？是什么让你改变主意的呢？
我吞下了他的声速爆破枪。
怎么会这样呢？
我只是试着证明我是对的。
可是，结果却证明我是错的。
Rachel: Uh yes, heroin and crack.
Ross: Crack isn’t even an intravenous drug!
Rachel: Well, you would know.
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference
before marriage?
Ross: Oh, come on!
Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!
Judge: And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage.
Well, that makes sense since you’re gay and addicted to heroin.
Ross: Okay, I’m sorry, this is insane! I-I-I’m not addicted to
heroin, I’m not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to
consummate anything! Look, I’ll consummate this marriage right here,
right now!
Judge: That won’t be necessary.
Ross: And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies!
Rachel: Ugh!
Judge: Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that
really creates a problem.
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two
years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated
like bunnies" from the record?
Judge: Is there, anything in this record that is actually true?
Rachel: Well, yes, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names I
think.
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly don’t qualify
for an annulment. If you two don’t want to be together you’ll have
to file for divorce.
Ross: (stands up) That’s great! Are you happy now? Look what you did
with your funny, funny form!
Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your
consummated like bunnies nonsense!
Ross: And what—(notices the stenographer is still typing)—What are
you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We don’t get the
annulment. Don’t type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to
where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out
of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (He’s still typing.) Stop typing! Stop
typing!!
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what you’re
keeping me married too?!
Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.
Rachel: All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an
annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one!
Ross: Yeah!
Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
Commercial Break
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball
thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I can’t describe
it, you’ll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche
guy took his car back.
现在它还卡在我喉咙里呢。
真是的，我们一直
把注意力放在那些宝宝身上了，
可是却没人看着Chandler!
好的， 你们是来领取离婚协议的，是么?
是的， 法官大人， 这是我们填好的表.
你们申请上面说， 离婚是因为
Geller先生精神上不稳定。
好吧，我脑子确实有毛病了。
而且Geller先生还是个瘾君子。
什么？
是的，海洛因和crack.
Crack根本就不是静脉注射毒品。
鬼知道你是怎么用的。
这儿还说，
婚前隐瞒自己的性取向？
啊？什么？
Ross，别骗人了，我发现那些杂志了！
最后以至于你们无法继续这段婚姻。
也确实只能这样了，你是同性恋，还有毒瘾。
好吧，对不起，这太荒谬了！
我，我，我没吸毒，也不是同性恋。
没有任何东西阻止我继续任何事情！
我现在就继续我这段婚姻，此时此刻！
你没必要这么做。
我们开始约会的时候，如胶似漆。
欧！
如果你们俩现在还保持那种过分的关系的话，
那确实算是有问题了。
Ross! 法官大人，
我们的热情早在两年前就消逝殆尽了。
您能把“继续过分的关系”加到纪录里面么？
这记录里面的东西，到底有什么是真的？
恩，我们确实是在Vegas结的婚，
那里的名字是......
好了，基于我所听到的，
你们不够资格领取离婚证书．
如果你们不想过了的话，
那就为离婚官司准备文件吧．
好吧，你现在满意了吧？
你瞧你和你那些搞笑的表格都干了些什么！
什么？我？
那你呢？还有你那些什么如胶似漆的鬼话？
那又怎么了？ 你还在敲什么？
你没听到她的话么？ 我们领不到离婚证书了。
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody
thinks I own a Porsche.
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because you’re
wearing the clothes?
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn’t
have the car! Right?
Chandler: That is true.
Phoebe: Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.
Joey: Oh, I’ve been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche.
(Starts to leave.)
Monica: Joey, you know you don’t actually have one.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! I’m in character! Would you talk
to her! (Storms out.)
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. It’s really poking me.
Monica: All right, that’s it, we’re going to the emergency room.
Phoebe: What?! No, you can’t, you can’t leave me here with them!
We’re baby-sitting!
Monica: The babies are asleep, I’m sure you’ll be okay on your own
for a while!
Phoebe: But you-you can’t leave me with them! We-we’re a team!
We’re playing a zone! They’re gonna triple team me!
Monica: He’s got something plastic lodged in his throat, we’ve got
to go to the hospital.
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor won’t be able to help him, it’s
just gonna y’know naturally pass through his system in like seven
years.
Chandler: I think that’s gum.
Phoebe: I’m pretty sure it’s gun.
Chandler: Okay, listen this really hurts. Let’s go.
Phoebe: A real man wouldn’t just run to the hospital! (They don’t
stop.) No! What would, what would Krog do? (They ignore her and Phoebe
is left alone.)
[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]
Joey: Why isn’t that valet back with my Porsche?
Passerby: Maybe because you’ve got the keys?
Joey: (to women passing him) Porsche.
(Ross and Rachel approach, they’re still yelling at each other.)
Rachel: This is totally your fault!
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporter’s
machine!!
Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
Rachel: Don’t call us that! (Storms away)
Ross: The judge wouldn’t let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get
a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
Joey: Hey! It’s Porsche!! (He’s right y’know.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe.
Right? Okay, I’m gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay,
别敲了！
干嘛？ 还敲？
嘿！
别敲了！
别敲了！
别敲了！
看见了么？看见了么？ 你还要我和这样的人一起生活！
你们该出去了！
好吧，女士，要么这样，
我来是为了离婚证书，你给我我就走。
Yeah!
你们想到监狱过夜么？
耽误您时间了!
保时捷的车主把车取回去了。
可你发现了开他衣服的钥匙？
不，我只是
我只是喜欢别人认为
我有保时捷车的那种感觉。
别人会因为你穿着这身衣服
而认为你有保时捷么？
当然了！
只有傻瓜才会自己没车
却还穿着这身衣服，不是么？
是的，当然了。
恩，而且只有天才才会吞下声速爆破枪。
噢，我吞过一次。
Yeah， 我去开我的保时捷了。
Joey， 你知道你并没有呀。
干嘛，你们这是干什么？
我正在扮演我的角色呢。你告诉她吧！
啊，它好像移了位置，戳的我好疼呀。
好吧，算了，我们去急诊室吧！
什么？不，不行，
你们不能把他们留给我一个人照顾。
我们在看孩子也。
宝宝们睡着了，一切都好办了，
你先一个人撑一下好么？
可是你们不能把他们都留给我一个呀！
我们可是一个战队！
我们坚守着各自的区域！
他们三个会联合起来对付我一个的。
现在有个塑料东西卡在他喉咙里了，
我们要去医院。
可是，医生帮不了他呀，
它得要自然降解，大概需要7年吧。
那是口香糖吧。
(注:gum口香糖)
我很确信是手枪。
(注:gun手枪)
好吧，听着，真得很疼，我们走吧。
after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, I’ll set you up with
a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses,
and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.)
Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just have to clean
that up. Okay? ‘Cause let’s face it, we’re at Monica’s. (She
crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the
vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, that’s just the way that goes.
(She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns
around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you?
Where is Leslie? Well, you can’t answer. (She starts looking for her)
Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for
your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed
to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you!
Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and
notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, you’re a lot
mischievous! Well, it’ll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To
Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister now—who aren’t
there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only
problem is, Monica’s apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane,
a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating,
radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, it’s
messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with
small children know what I’m talking about.]
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: (exhausted) How do you feel?
Chandler: Well, let’s just say that Krog will be fully equipped to
destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours.
Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I
fed ‘em, bathed ‘em, and put ‘em to bed.
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
(Monica enters and her jaw drops in horror.)
Monica: Oh my God.
Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Monica: But my apartment!
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebe’s triumph.
Monica: But the mess!
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of
the babies all by herself.
Monica: You’re right, you’re right I shouldn’t freak out. ‘Cause
this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that
be?!
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
[Scene: Ross’s apartment, Rachel is packing what she still has over
there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh honey thank God you’re home, I was getting
worried.
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, I’ve already signed
everything and I put little ‘X’s where you need to sign.
男子汉可不会跑到医院去。
如果是Krog， 他会怎么做呢？
那小子怎么还没把我的车开回来！
也许是因为钥匙在你手上？
(保时捷)
这都是你的错！
我的错？是你威胁法官的！
你还把记录机里面的纸都扯出来了呢！
只有那样才会让他停下来呀。
Hi! 你们好呀，Geller夫妇！
别这么叫我们！
法官不给我们离婚证书！
我们之好打官司离婚了！
你是不是撞上保时夹了？
嘿！是保时捷！
我来照顾你们，完全没问题！
你们都很安全，不是么？
好吧，我要把这个泡泡当作是，
“当然了，我也行！”
好吧，等我处理完这个脏尿布，
Leslie， 我会给你换个干净的。
噢，我不是有意吓唬你的，我得收拾干净亚。
不是么？要敢于面对，这是Monica的家。
我打碎了它，好吧，又怎么样呢？
事情原本就是这样呀。
好了，完了。
怎么只剩你们两个了？
Leslie在哪里？
算了，你又不能回答，Leslie?
你在哪里？Leslie?
Leslie， 这可是你说第一个字的绝佳时机呀！
噢，瞧瞧你！
嘿！
你可真有点儿调皮呀！
天哪！
你可不只是一点儿调皮而已！
好吧，它自己会干的。
好了，你和你弟弟、妹妹坐好，
他们到哪儿去了？
嘿！
你感觉怎么样？
恩，Krog在12到24小时内，就又可以
全副武装，再次毁灭宇宙了。
好吧，我完全一个人照顾好了所有的宝宝。
给他们喂食，给他们洗澡，送他们上床。
而且还在龙卷风到来时保护他们？
噢，天哪！
我知道，孩子睡着了
Rachel: Oh, little ‘X’s! Great! That makes up for everything!
Ross: Y’know, I-I—you’ve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Rachel: Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one!
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how
about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things
because I was in love with you!
Ross: Yeah! Right!
(Pause.)
Ross: You’re right. That’s very different. So let’s, let’s just
sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing
there.) What?
Rachel: Nothing. (Sits down.)
Ross: Okay, can we just sign please?
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks
each page out of the way.)
Ross: Congratulations. (Gets up to leave.)
Rachel: Okay Ross, we’re—wait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a
little confession.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Well, y’know this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea.
Ross: Excuse me?
Rachel: Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the
night we were married?
Ross: Yeah?
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didn’t really, I didn’t want to say anything,
but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember
we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny
to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if
we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get
married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry
I got us into this mess.
Ross: So then if-if—I mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.)
your fault.
Rachel: Yeah, don’t push it though.
Ross: I’ve got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought
I would be divorcing you.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would
be the one that stuck. And it wouldn’t be a secret, and we wouldn’t
have our wedding dinner at
Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Ross: Did I, did I even treat?
Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing I’ve heard in my life.
I should probably get these to my lawyer’s office.
Rachel: Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this.
Ross: Eh, no problem.
(They hug.)
Rachel: I’m gonna need a copy of those.
Ross: Totally. (Exits.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing
Phoebe， 这儿怎么了？
是我，我一个人照顾所有的孩子。
可是我的房子！
这可是Phoebe的得意之作。
可是这儿一团糟亚。
可这和Phoebe照料孩子的功劳相比，
又算得上什么呢？
你说得对，你说得对，我太在意了。
因为我和你有孩子以后，也会这样的。
你说什么时候呢？
Phoebe， 你能不能看看这一团糟？
噢，亲爱的，你总算回来了，我好担心呀！
我拿回来了离婚协议。
我把所有的都签好了。
我把你要签字的地方都划了个小"X".
噢，小"X"，太好了，一切都可以弥补了。
你知道么？你还不是做了很多蠢事？
噢，那就说一个和这次一样傻的事情。
好吧，就说你那次飞到伦敦阻止我婚礼！
还有，你在我结婚后告诉我你还爱我。
嘿！等一下，这完全不同，我做哪些事
是因为我那时还爱你。
是么？好吧！
你说的对，那完全是另外一回事。
我们还是，还是签协议吧。
怎么了？
没什么
好吧，开始签吧。
Uh-hmm.
祝贺你！
好吧，Ross，等一下，
我，我想做点儿忏悔。
什么？
这次结婚的事情，
也算是我的主意，
什么？
还记得我们结婚那晚，我们喝得太多，
什么都不记得了么？
是的？
我不是很想，不是很想说，
不过，一切都不停的在我眼前浮现，
还记得我们在俱乐部里面，
为了某个原因而吃一大堆葡萄取乐么？
我觉得如果我们结婚的话，可能会更高兴的。
于是，我们就决定折衷一下，先结婚，然后
再去吃葡萄。
结果就......
对不起，把我们带到今天这样的局面。
那么，就是说，
the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass
next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
Woman: (the same one from before approaches) Hi Joey.
Joey: Hey! How you doin’?
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Joey: I’d love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. She’s sleeping.
(The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a
drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch,
lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set
up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
End
如果仔细想来的话，这都是你的错了？
是的，别说的太过分。
我得说，
我和很多女人离过婚，
可我从来就没想过我会和你离婚。
我知道。
我总是想，如果我们结婚，我们会白头到老。
这也不会是一个秘密，
而且我们不会在必胜客里面举行婚礼。
最后是我，是我请的客么？
没有，算在房间上了，是特别为新婚夫妇准备的。
这也许是我这辈子以来听过得最伤心的事情了。
我该把这些送到我律师办公室了。
嗨，谢谢你，Ross， 照料这一切。
Eh， 没问题。
我需要复制一份。
当然了。
嘿，嘿！ 小心我的保时捷！
嘿！ Joey.
嘿！你们好！
他那最好的保时捷就在这下面。
我很想给你们展示一下，
不过我刚把它罩上，它在睡觉呢。
你们想去喝一杯么？
606 The One The Last Night
606 The One The Last Night
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick
on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of
bills.]
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the
hockey stick so that he’s scratching his back with it.) Listen, I’m
gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Right! And when is that due?
Chandler: First of the month.
Joey: And that’s every month?
Chandler: No, just the months you actually want to live here.
Joey: Ahhh.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Joey: (looking at it) Oh my God!!
Chandler: That’s our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung
this whole me moving out on thing, so why don’t I just—why don’t
I just cover you for a while?
Joey: No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity„anymore.
606 他们的最后一夜
好吧
我就要搬走了，以后你记得交费。
好！都是什么时候交？
月初。
每个月都交？
不，你住在这儿多久交多久。
这是电话帐单。
天啊！！
那是电话号码
搬家的事都是因我而起
我帮你负担几个月如何？
不干！
崔乔伊不再接受施舍了！
不是施舍
少来!不要再提
谢你好心，以后不要你的钱了
Chandler: It’s not charity, Joe„
Joey: No! Forget it! Okay—I mean thanks, but I’m done taking money
from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, what’s next? Come
on.
Chandler: Okay uh, here’s the electric bill. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
Chandler: Uh, yeah.
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
Chandler: So, we’ll do the rest of the bills later then?
Opening Credits
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about
trying to give Joey some money.]
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
Chandler: No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he
wouldn’t take it.
Phoebe: Well, how much do you think he needs?
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months,
y’know? But I have to trick him into taking it so I won’t hurt his
pride.
Phoebe: Why don’t you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress
up and put on little skits. Whatever you want.
Chandler: Well that would help the pride thing.
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey!
Chandler: Hey! Wow! You look great! Wanna move in with me tomorrow?
Monica: (thinks) Okay.
Chandler: Okay! (They kiss) So, what do you girls have planned for
tonight?
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night
together with Rachel we thought we’d go out to dinner and celebrate
the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Phoebe: And also, my birthday.
Monica: It’s not your birthday.
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you it’s not
your birthday!
(Joey and Ross enter.)
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey! So you guys have anything planned for the big last night?
Chandler: Well, instead of just hanging out, we figure we’d do
nothing.
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I thought maybe
you guys would come over and watch it.
Joey: I don’t know Ross, not if you’re gonna talk about how you gave
up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Ross: I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I was wondering„
Monica: You’re not dressed yet?! We’re supposed to start having fun
in 15 minutes!
Rachel: Well and clearly not a minute sooner.
Monica: Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me
我能养活自己。
还有什么费用，接着说
电费单
电费这么高？
对
剩下的帐单以后再算
乔伊也要搬？
我希望他留下。
我想支援他些钱，他不收
你说他需要多少钱？
1500元够他对付几个月
但我得想方设法、在不伤他自尊
的前提下，把钱给他
你干吗不请他表演？
让他打扮一下演小品什么的
那样他自尊不会受伤？
你真美!明天就和我同居、好吗
好
今晚有什么节目？
我们不想为离别而伤感
所以今晚一起出去吃饭，
庆祝瑞秋搬去跟菲比住
顺便庆祝我的生日
今天不是你的生日
刻薄! 我决不会这样说你！
分离在即，你们俩又有什么计划
以前总待在一起胡混，
这次我们决定什么都不做
尼克斯队本赛季今晚开赛，
我以为你们会去看
算了，罗斯
你老是说你如何放弃篮球事业，
成为古生物学家。我没兴趣再听
我的确舍篮球、而投身古生物学！
菲比,我不知道„„
你还没打扮好？
我们再有15分钟就该出发了！
还早呢
行李收拾好了吧
请告诉我，你收拾好了
当然！莫妮，别紧张
我只想让菲比参谋参谋，
今晚我该穿什么
天，一到你们这里，
我就没有一刻清闲
天!
莫妮要杀了你
我知道
你这身衣服倒适合受死
我来借——你没有收行李!
压根没开始！
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